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What type of club it is, what is your involvement there, what do you do for it, and explain why it is important to you. v.1

What type of club it is, what is your involvement there, what do you do for it, and explain why it is important to you. v. 1
It is certainly true that cars, playing an important role in our life. In modern society, more and more people using artificial intelligence to drive vehicles. This is due to advancements in technologies and it should be seen as a positive development because it helps people to prevent car accidents. People use artificial intelligence because of the latest development in IA. The automotive software is installed in the car or it can be a brand new automobile that has already that function in it. Intelligence demonstrated by machines can think instead of a human and select an appropriate algorithm to perform the desired request. This algorithm selected by analysing the best effective solutions for driving purposes. A recent study found that by 2030 one third of the population will use IA self-driving cars. Machine intelligence should be welcomed because it is useful for reducing the number of road traffic accidents. We don't need to react quickly in a risky situation to select which way we should turn the steering wheel; the IA device will do it for us. Moreover, these technologies have sensors that are sensitive. Furthermore, a smart brake system will stop the driving, when the chance of crashes another vehicle will be very high. Hence, we will not feel nervous. For example, most of the Tesla drivers state that they feel very comfortable and they have never been in trouble by driving a car. To conclude, cars are very essential in our lives, Taking all these points into consideration, a lot of people selecting self-drive automobiles, because the technologies are changing in a good way, which will be a result of the safe driving with fewer road traffic accidents.
It is
certainly
true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
, playing an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in our life. In modern society, more and more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
using artificial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intelligence
to drive vehicles. This is due to advancements in technologies and it should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
accidents.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
artificial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intelligence
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the latest development in IA. The automotive software
is installed
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
or it can be a
'brand new' seems to be a compound adjective in front of a noun. Use a hyphen: "brand-new".
brand new
automobile that has already that function in it.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Intelligence
demonstrated by machines can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
instead
of a human and select an appropriate algorithm to perform the desired request. This algorithm selected by
Possible spelling mistake. 'analysing' is British English.
analysing
the best effective solutions for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
purposes. A recent study found that by 2030 one third of the population will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
IA self-driving cars.

Machine
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intelligence
should
be welcomed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is useful for reducing the number of road traffic accidents. We don't need to react
quickly
in a risky situation to select which way we should turn the steering wheel; the IA device will do it for us.
Moreover
, these technologies have sensors that are sensitive.
Furthermore
, a smart brake system will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
, when the chance of crashes another vehicle will be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
high.
Hence
, we will not feel nervous.
For example
, most of the Tesla drivers state that they feel
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
comfortable and
they have never been in trouble by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
a car.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
essential in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, Taking all these points into consideration,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
selecting self-drive automobiles,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the technologies are changing in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way, which will be a result of the safe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
with fewer road traffic accidents.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay What type of club it is, what is your involvement there, what do you do for it, and explain why it is important to you. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
281 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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