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International travel sometimes makes people prejudiced rather than broad minded. What may be the reasons for this? What can people do to improve their understanding of the countries they visit? v.1

International travel sometimes makes people prejudiced rather than broad minded. What may be the reasons for this? What can people do to improve their understanding of the countries they visit? v. 1
International travel is regarded as one of the finest ways of broadening one’s outlook by understanding the diversity of different places, the people, their culture and lifestyle. On the downside, international travel has also led tourists to become biased and cold instead of receptive and indulgent. One of the primary causes aiding this unwanted outcome is that what is considered sacred in one place may not hold any value for the tourists. In Arab countries, for instance, women are required to wear a burka or unrevealing clothes, and western women, not realizing the importance of being fully clad, may develop an aversion as to why women in these countries are treated the way they are. And visa-versa, a tourist hailing from a reserved background may not identify with the western culture, and feel appalled by the lifestyle of people there through not knowing better. Research prior to the trip can resolve this, or if there is a tour guide or organizer, they must take it upon themselves to educate the tourists about the local values and culture in a way that they understand and empathise rather than look down upon it. Stereotyping is another significant cause of prejudice among tourists. The source of stereotyping is media portrayal of certain countries, places and people which is why tourists have preconceived negative opinions about these places when they arrive. Without really getting to know the local people, a trip may just accentuate these views. Awareness is the only cure to break the stereotypes and for this interaction amongst the local people and the tourists must be rallied by encouraging home stays so that the differences between reality and media portrayal can come to the surface. In conclusion, international tourism does have its problems which can lead to prejudiced views. However, efforts in the right direction can overcome them.
International travel
is regarded
as one of the finest ways of broadening one’s outlook by understanding the diversity of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, their culture and lifestyle. On the downside, international travel has
also
led
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
to become biased and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cold
instead
of receptive and indulgent.

One of the primary causes aiding this unwanted outcome is that what
is considered
sacred in one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
may not hold any value for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
. In Arab countries,
for instance
, women
are required
to wear a burka or unrevealing clothes, and western women, not realizing the importance of being
fully
clad, may develop an aversion as to why women in these countries
are treated
the way they are. And visa-versa, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
hailing from a reserved background may not identify with the western culture, and feel appalled by the lifestyle of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
there through not knowing better. Research prior to the trip can resolve this, or if there is a tour guide or organizer, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
take it upon themselves to educate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
about the local values and culture in a way that they understand and
Possible spelling mistake. 'empathise' is British English.
empathise
rather
than look down upon it.

Stereotyping is another significant cause of prejudice among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
. The source of stereotyping is media portrayal of certain countries,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
which is why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
have preconceived
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
opinions about these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
when they arrive. Without
really
getting to know the local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, a trip may
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
accentuate these views. Awareness is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
cure to break the stereotypes and for this interaction
Do not mix variants of the same word ('amongst' and 'among') within a single text.
amongst
the local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be rallied
by encouraging home stays
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the differences between reality and media portrayal can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to the surface.

In conclusion
, international tourism does have its problems which can lead to prejudiced views.
However
, efforts in the right direction can overcome them.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Language comes first. It’s not that language grows out of consciousness, if you haven’t got language, you can’t be conscious.
Alan Moore

IELTS essay International travel sometimes makes people prejudiced rather than broad minded. What may be the reasons for this? What can people do to improve their understanding of the countries they visit? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
306 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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