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International travel is becoming coming cheaper and countries are opening their doors to more and more tourist do the advantage of increased tourists outweigh disadvantages v.1

International travel is becoming coming cheaper and countries are opening their doors to more and more tourist do the advantage of increased tourists outweigh disadvantages v. 1
It is generally thought that media like television can increase the spread of violence. TV shows show often violent activities, making some people believe that these actions will be imitated, perhaps by some young people. In this essay, I will discuss this belief. Firstly, I believe that today's media have some role in the education of young generations. They spend a lot of their time watching movies or TV series and, because of their young age, they are easily influenced by what they see on television. In fact, I think that it is very important to show them good examples of behaviour, giving much less space to violence and other dangerous activities. Secondly, at the same time, television is not the main educator in a society. Families and schools are much more important and influential during the growth of a boy or a girl. Furthermore, regarding adults, their nature is not defined by what they see on television. They can still do something bad and violent, even if they haven't seen recently something violent on TV. Contrariwise to the general belief, I think that these blamed movies or TV series, can allow people to vent their anger and stress, so as to reduce violence in social life. Finally, I believe that is surely important to reduce shows of violence for younger generations, but at the same time, for those who have already passed their youth, this fictional violence can serve as a relief valve and help reduce violence in our community.
It is
generally
thought
that media like
television
can increase the spread of
violence
. TV
shows
show
often
violent activities, making
some
people
believe that these actions will
be imitated
, perhaps by
some
young
people
. In this essay, I will discuss this belief.

Firstly
, I believe that
today
's media have
some
role in the education of young generations. They spend
a lot of
their time watching movies or TV series and,
because
of their young age, they are
easily
influenced by what they
see
on
television
. In fact, I
think
that it is
very
important
to
show
them
good
examples of
behaviour
, giving much less space to
violence
and other
dangerous
activities.

Secondly
, at the same time,
television
is not the main educator in a society. Families and schools are much more
important
and influential during the growth of a boy or a girl.
Furthermore
, regarding adults, their nature is not defined by what they
see
on
television
. They can
still
do something
bad
and violent, even if they haven't
seen
recently something violent on TV. Contrariwise to the general belief, I
think
that these blamed movies or TV series, can
allow
people
to vent their anger and
stress
,
so as to
reduce
violence
in social life.

Finally
, I believe
that is
surely
important
to
reduce
shows
of
violence
for younger generations,
but
at the same time, for those who have already passed their youth, this fictional
violence
can serve as a relief valve and
help
reduce
violence
in our community.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay International travel is becoming coming cheaper and countries are opening their doors to more and more tourist do the advantage of increased tourists outweigh disadvantages v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
251 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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