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International travel is becoming cheaper and countries are opening their doors to more and more tourist. Do the advantages of increased tourists outweigh disadvantages v.1

International travel is becoming cheaper and countries are opening their doors to more and more tourist. Do the advantages of increased tourists outweigh disadvantages v. 1
In the ancient times, the journey across the lands or oceans took days and years to reach due to transportation. However, in the contemporary era, with the burgeoning of technology, travelling has become convenient. Previously, only the elite class was able to travel due to the expensive fares, but now they are cheap and reasonable for everyone. As a consequence, it has benefitted the tourists as well as the countries. Therefore, the pros of the mushrooming visitors overpower the cons. To begin with, the hospitality sector has emerged as the longest growing business in some countries to earn revenue. There are some nations whom economic growth depends on the tourism. In these lands, the natives start their small businesses, like selling their cultural and traditional products for the traveller, in order to make a living. This, obviously, has the dual benefit. Firstly, tourists get acquainted with their nation's culture, and secondly, this will attract more and more tourists in the future. In addition to this, every year a large number of people visit to other continents for medical treatment. Therefore, the cost effective international flights will help them in their colossal budget. Furthermore, the entrepreneurs, who has settled their business across the sea, have to travel a lot. So, a reduction in fares will be affordable for them. In the end, I would like to say that the advent in transportation resulted in low fares for travelling across the globe, and which fulfil the dreams of those people who love the sightseeing. Plus, it supports several countries to progress. Hence, the merits of low cost flights outweigh its demerits.
In the ancient times, the journey across the lands or oceans took days and years to reach due to transportation.
However
, in the contemporary era, with the burgeoning of technology, travelling has become convenient. Previously,
only
the elite
class
was able to travel due to the expensive fares,
but
now
they are
cheap
and reasonable for everyone. As a consequence, it has
benefitted
the tourists
as well
as the countries.
Therefore
, the pros of the mushrooming visitors overpower the cons.

To
begin
with, the hospitality sector has emerged as the longest growing business in
some
countries to earn revenue. There are
some
nations whom economic growth depends on the tourism. In these lands, the natives
start
their
small
businesses, like selling their cultural and traditional products for the
traveller
, in order to
make
a living. This,
obviously
, has the dual benefit.
Firstly
, tourists
get
acquainted with their nation's culture, and
secondly
, this will attract more and more tourists in the future.

In addition
to this, every year
a large number of
people
visit to other continents for medical treatment.
Therefore
, the cost effective international flights will
help
them in their colossal budget.

Furthermore
, the entrepreneurs, who has settled their business across the sea,
have to
travel a lot.
So
, a reduction in fares will be affordable for them.

In the
end
, I would like to say that the advent in transportation resulted in low fares for travelling across the globe, and which fulfil the dreams of those
people
who
love
the sightseeing. Plus, it supports several countries to progress.
Hence
, the merits of low cost flights outweigh its demerits.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay International travel is becoming cheaper and countries are opening their doors to more and more tourist. Do the advantages of increased tourists outweigh disadvantages v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
269 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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