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31. International travel is becoming coming cheaper and countries are opening their doors to more and more tourist do the advantage of increased tourists outweigh disadvantages v.1

31. International travel is becoming coming cheaper and countries are opening their doors to more and more tourist do the advantage of increased tourists outweigh disadvantages v. 1
In this cutting edge time, with the coming of innovation, countless wellsprings of transportation are accessible which are modest as well as agreeable. Aviation routes are one of them. Nations have made it simple for visitors to visit there and a larger part of individuals travel there. It has numerous favourable circumstances aside from certain detriments. Both will be discussed in the forthcoming passages. The first and foremost advantage is that it has increased the sense of brotherhood between the people of different nations. For instance, people visit other countries and meet the native people there. Secondly, it has increased globalization. It gives chance for passengers to know about the values and traditions of other states and they can adopt some decent qualities of the traditions. As a result, they become socially resilient. Moreover, people do business and invest their money in foreign countries which would be helpful in booming the business. For example, Nestle India Limited is established by the reunion of India and Switzerland and it has created a large number of opportunities for job-seeking persons. On the other hand, it has some disadvantages also. The foreign enterprises who invest in the home nation become a big threat to the small and domestic companies. The small companies are incompetent to compete with them. The other thing is sometimes wayfarer adopt some bad qualities of the people of advanced nations. For instance, the foreign customs does not suit the culture of India to a major extent. So people are crazy to follow the western culture which results in destroying the home culture and traditions. In conclusion, the need of the time is to take the benefit of the journey to other nations. The positive aspects of different cultures should be adopted by people. Whether it has some disadvantages, but advantages overlooked them
In this cutting edge time, with the coming of innovation, countless wellsprings of transportation are accessible which are modest
as well
as agreeable. Aviation routes are one of them.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Nations
have made it simple for visitors to visit there and a larger part of individuals travel there. It has numerous
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourable' is British English.
favourable
circumstances aside from certain detriments. Both will
be discussed
in the forthcoming passages.

The
first
and foremost advantage is that it has increased the sense of brotherhood between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
visit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
countries and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the native
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
there.
Secondly
, it has increased globalization. It gives chance for passengers to know about the values and traditions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
states and
they can adopt
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
decent qualities of the traditions.
As a result
, they become
socially
resilient.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do business and invest their money in foreign countries which would be helpful in booming the business.
For example
, Nestle India Limited
is established
by the reunion of India and Switzerland and it has created
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
opportunities for job-seeking persons.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages
also
. The foreign enterprises who invest in the home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
become a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
threat to the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
and domestic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
. The
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
are incompetent to compete with them.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
thing is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
wayfarer adopt
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
qualities of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of advanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
.
For instance
, the foreign customs does not suit the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
of India to a major extent.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are crazy to follow the western
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
which results in destroying the home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and traditions.

In conclusion
, the need of the time is to take the benefit of the journey to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
. The
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aspects of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
should
be adopted
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Whether it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
advantages overlooked
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
them
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes
Language comes first. It’s not that language grows out of consciousness, if you haven’t got language, you can’t be conscious.
Alan Moore

IELTS essay 31. International travel is becoming coming cheaper and countries are opening their doors to more and more tourist do the advantage of increased tourists outweigh disadvantages v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
302 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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