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Nowadays many families move overseas for job opportunities. Some people think this is beneficial for the children of these families, while others think children will find it difficult. Discuss both views and give your own opinion v.1

Nowadays many families move overseas for job opportunities. Some people think this is beneficial for the children of these families, while others think children will find it difficult. 1
In today’s world, skilled and work visas have been opened by manifold developed countries for second and third world nations. These would create ample opportunities for aspirants to migrate with family. One school of thought avers that, this process would be beneficial for professionals and their family members, while others do not concur with the statement. In this essay, I will discuss both the arguments in following paragraphs and support the formal point. There are myriad evidences which elaborate the privileges of living in ultra developed nations. At the outset, the education system of these countries has been maintained by brilliant and experienced people. They developed it in such a manner, neither it is boring and essay nor too tough, while it helps the students to get a white collar job. To cite an example, a recent survey by leading newspaper had revealed that predominantly students of the advanced countries have better knowledge of mostly fields than others country’s students. Therefore it could be a gold chance for migrants’ children to upgrade their skills during their visit. However above mentioned boons are not without thorns. Firstly, it could be really difficult for the infants to comprehend the host country’s culture and adapt it. This is because, they are not enough mature to distinguish within their own and second county culture, therefore they could remain in dilemma which one has to follow at which place. On the whole, although there are significant drawbacks for children living in overseas country, it manifold advantages cannot be overlooked. Once they overcome these issues they will secure their future and live luxury life.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s world, skilled and work visas have
been opened
by manifold developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
for second and third world nations. These would create ample opportunities for aspirants to migrate with family. One school of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
avers that, this process would be beneficial for professionals and their family members, while others do not concur with the statement. In this essay, I will discuss both the arguments in following paragraphs and support the formal point.

There are myriad evidences which elaborate the privileges of living in ultra developed nations. At the outset, the education system of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
has
been maintained
by brilliant and experienced
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. They developed it in such a manner, neither it is boring and essay nor too tough, while it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
the students to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a white collar job. To cite an example, a recent survey by leading newspaper had revealed that
predominantly
students of the advanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
have better knowledge of
mostly
fields than others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
students.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
it could be a gold chance for migrants’ children to upgrade their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
during their visit.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
above mentioned boons are not without thorns.
Firstly
, it could be
really
difficult for the infants to comprehend the host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
culture and adapt it. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, they are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
mature to distinguish within their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
and second county culture,
therefore
they could remain in dilemma which one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
follow at which place.

On the whole
, although there are significant drawbacks for children living in overseas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, it
Did you mean "manifolds"?
manifold
advantages cannot
be overlooked
. Once they overcome these issues they will secure their future and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
luxury life.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays many families move overseas for job opportunities. Some people think this is beneficial for the children of these families, while others think children will find it difficult. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
268 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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