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Some people think that teenagers should follow what the old people say whereas some believe that it is good for teenage people to challenge what old people say. Discuss both opinions and give your opinion. v.3

Some people think that teenagers should follow what the old people say whereas some believe that it is good for teenage people to challenge what old people say. v. 3
The discussion of following the advice of elders is surely one that begs the question of exactly what is more beneficial for teenagers. In my opinion, elders are more experienced and assert logical solutions to any problems, so teenagers should follow their elder's path. One clear fact is that elders have seen more ups and downs in their lives. It can be an inevitable fact for them to be more knowledgeable and experienced. For example, when there are some hindrances in youngster's life, that they could turn to their elders for advice. Hence, this can result into more fruitful future for the youngsters as they will always have a support whenever they need. Nevertheless, one cannot ignore the lessons for youngsters to learn from their mistakes. For instance, if teenagers, make mistakes associated with the decisions they take, they tend to learn and grow from them. Therefore, they can develop a strong decision taking power rather than being pampered by older people. Overall, I still think teenagers need to consider their elder's advice. Another reason stems from the fact that elderly people think critically in every situation. They avoid rash decisions because of their understanding, knowledge and outstanding thinking. Nonetheless, when talking about views, youngsters must also have their own opinion and perspective for taking decisions in life. This view might make the youngster compatible for making decisions. To conclude, both sides present strong arguments. However, these points about teenagers not consulting their parents can put them in charge of their career. Youngsters can shape up their career if they take advice from the elders who are more skilled and mature.
The discussion of following the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advice
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elders
is
surely
one that begs the question of exactly
what is more
beneficial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elders
are more experienced and assert logical solutions to any problems,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
should follow their elder's path.

One
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
fact is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elders
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
more ups and downs in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. It can be an inevitable fact for them to be more knowledgeable and experienced.
For example
, when there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
hindrances in youngster's life, that they could turn to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elders
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advice
.
Hence
, this can result into more fruitful future for the youngsters as they will always have a support whenever they need.

Nevertheless
, one cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
the lessons for youngsters to learn from their mistakes.
For instance
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
mistakes associated with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
they take, they tend to learn and grow from them.
Therefore
, they can develop a strong
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
taking power
rather
than
being pampered
by older
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Overall
, I
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
need to consider their elder's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advice
. Another reason stems from the fact that elderly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
critically
in every situation. They avoid rash
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their understanding, knowledge and outstanding thinking. Nonetheless, when talking about views, youngsters
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
also
have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
opinion and perspective for taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
in life. This view might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youngster
compatible for making decisions.

To conclude
, both sides present strong arguments.
However
, these points about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
not consulting their parents can put them in charge of their career. Youngsters can shape up their career if they take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advice
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elders
who are more skilled and mature.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that teenagers should follow what the old people say whereas some believe that it is good for teenage people to challenge what old people say. v. 3

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
271 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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