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International travel is becoming cheaper than before, so many countries open their doors to tourists. So the advantages of the increased tourism outweigh the disadvantages? v.1

International travel is becoming cheaper than before, so many countries open their doors to tourists. So the advantages of the increased tourism outweigh the disadvantages? v. 1
Nowadays, more and more people like to travel and explore different countries and their cultures. This might be due to cost of travel is much cheaper than earlier. There are many pros and cons on countries due to increase in number of tourists. This essay will discuss both the effects in detail and explain why the advantages on rise in tourism outweighs the disadvantages. To begin with, there are lot of advantages from tourism. Firstly, it provides employment opportunities to the local people. Many industries purely depend on the tourism like local transportation, working as a guide at historical places, hotel industries. In other words, it contributes to the development of a country. In addition to that, it showcase the local culture to the different countries and showcase their country in international market. On the other hand, the greatest disadvantages of the tourism is effect on local people. For example, last year in Shimla, there was huge crisis for water. Local people couldn't find water to drink or cook because most of the water was used by big hotel for their guests. In addition to the due to increase in number of people it will be difficult to maintain the cleanliness of the place and most of the historical places are getting effected of this To conclude, eventhough there are few side effects of increase in number of people due to tourism, it definitely comes with lot of benefits to the local people as well on the whole to country. So government should encourage and attract more tourists and open their doors to them.
Nowadays, more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like to travel and explore
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and their cultures. This might be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to cost of travel is much cheaper than earlier. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
pros and cons on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to increase in number of tourists. This essay will discuss both the effects in detail and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why the advantages on rise in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
outweighs the disadvantages.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
advantages from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
.
Firstly
, it provides employment opportunities to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
industries
purely
depend on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
transportation, working as a guide at historical places, hotel industries.
In other words
, it contributes to the development of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
In addition
to that, it
Did you mean "showcases"?
showcase
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
culture to the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and showcase their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
in international market.

On the other hand
, the greatest disadvantages of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
is effect on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For example
, last year in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Shimla
, there was huge crisis for water.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
couldn't find water to drink or cook
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
most of the water was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
hotel for their guests.
In addition
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to increase in number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
it will be difficult to maintain the cleanliness of the place and most of the historical places are getting effected of
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
this


To conclude
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
eventhough
there are few side effects of increase in number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
, it definitely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
with
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
benefits to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
as well
on the whole
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should encourage and attract more tourists and open their doors to them.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
28Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay International travel is becoming cheaper than before, so many countries open their doors to tourists. So the advantages of the increased tourism outweigh the disadvantages? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
264 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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