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International travel is becoming cheaper, and more and more countries open their door and with more and more tourists. Do the advantages of the increased tourism outweigh its disadvantages? v.1

International travel is becoming cheaper, and more and more countries open their door and with more and more tourists. Do the advantages of the increased tourism outweigh its disadvantages? v. 1
Since the beginning of the twenty first century, urbanization has gotten the momentum quickly, which certainly improves the quality of lives of city dwellers. However, people in countryside areas, still strive for basic necessities. As a result, it ends up in a certain number of issues. This essay is an attempt to explain some of those problems and give some solutions to alleviate the same. Looking at issues, with the help of the globalization, many nations' economy statuses have been improved dramatically. But, as it only affects urban people, rural dwellers start migrating to the city side. Eventually, this mass migration of people disturbs an overall development of the whole nation and creates the scarcity of the land and resources in cities. For example, it is a well known fact that, around five thousand of new people are arriving daily in Mumbai, for their livelihoods, which definitely arise chaos in this city. In order to reduce these issues, the government must start investing in rural areas, to provide them a good education system, a reliable medical facility and the best transportation system, which may help to stop rural people's migration from villages to urban areas. Additionally, building new infrastructures in the countryside, creates a lot of employment opportunities for rural youngsters. Another solution is to provide them good foods, clothes and potable water, which is the fundamental right of an every citizen. For instance, it is surveyed that, the most important reason behind the migration of people to the city is that, they cannot be provided with basic necessities, let alone modern amenities in the rural areas. To conclude, being citizens of the nation, everyone has an equal right to live a quality life. Hence, it is the responsibility of an authority, to ensure that every citizen can be provided with at least basic needs.
Since the beginning of the twenty
first
century, urbanization has gotten the momentum
quickly
, which
certainly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
the quality of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of city dwellers.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in countryside areas,
still
strive for
Consider using "necessities".
basic necessities
.
As a result
, it ends up in a certain number of issues. This essay is an attempt to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of those problems and give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
solutions to alleviate the same.

Looking at issues, with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of the globalization,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
nations' economy statuses have been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
dramatically
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, as it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
affects urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
dwellers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
migrating to the city side.
Eventually
, this mass migration of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
disturbs an
overall
development of the whole nation and creates the scarcity of the land and resources in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
For example
, it is a well known fact that, around five thousand of new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are arriving daily in Mumbai, for their livelihoods, which definitely arise chaos in this city.

In order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
these issues, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
investing in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
areas, to provide them a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
education system, a reliable medical facility and the best transportation system, which may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's migration from villages to urban areas.
Additionally
, building new infrastructures in the countryside, creates
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
employment opportunities for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
youngsters. Another solution is to provide them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
foods, clothes and potable water, which is the fundamental right of an every citizen.
For instance
, it
is surveyed
that, the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
reason behind the migration of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to the city is that, they cannot
be provided
with
Consider using "necessities".
basic necessities
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
alone modern amenities in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
areas.

To conclude
, being citizens of the nation, everyone has an equal right to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a quality life.
Hence
, it is the responsibility of an authority, to ensure that every citizen can
be provided
with at least basic needs.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay International travel is becoming cheaper, and more and more countries open their door and with more and more tourists. Do the advantages of the increased tourism outweigh its disadvantages? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
305 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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