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International travel is becoming cheaper and countries are opening their door to more and more tourists. Do the advantages of increased tourists outweigh disadvantages? v.1

International travel is becoming cheaper and countries are opening their door to more and more tourists. Do the advantages of increased tourists outweigh disadvantages? v. 1
Globalization has opened the door for individuals to interact with different regions’ people and visiting other countries around the world. Looking at the trend, there has been an enormous increase in the number of aviation companies that forces them to reduce the airfares to sustain in the market. As a result, countries are welcoming more tourists from different parts around the world to increase the economy of the country that fulfil the career opportunities for local people. There are pros and cons of increasing tourists that I will explain in this essay. To begin with, there are numerous benefits of tourists visiting the country. One clear benefit is that it gives local people career or job opportunities. In addition to this, it strengthens the country’s overall growth as well. New Zealand’s wealth for instance, is totally relying on tourists. Besides this, increasing communication flow among people from different parts of the world, play a pivotal role in the development of technology and the economy, but also promoting the cultural exchange between different countries. On the other hand, it has some negative effects too. Increasing number of tourists from various places, there is a greater risk of disease getting transported to other nations. The current “Corona Virus”, for example, whose outbreak began in China, has caused a medical emergency to break out in many countries. Consequently, it affects the import-export business and lowering the countries' overall economy and many aviation companies have to bear the loss due to cancelled flights. Apart from this, sometimes youngsters may be attracted to the western culture which the tourists bring with them and many local people feel a threat to their culture. To sum up, I would concede that increasing the number of tourists does come with some adverse effects. Despite that fact benefits created by it outweigh the drawbacks. A wise thought would be to take more benefits out of this and keeping up the efforts to minimize the negative impact.
Globalization has opened the door for individuals to interact with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
regions’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and visiting other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
around the world. Looking at the trend, there has been an enormous increase in the number of aviation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
that forces them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the airfares to sustain in the market.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are welcoming more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
parts around the world to increase the economy of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
that fulfil the career opportunities for local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. There are pros and cons of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
that I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
in this essay.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
visiting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. One
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefit
is that it gives local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
career or job opportunities.
In addition
to this, it strengthens the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
overall
growth
as well
. New Zealand’s wealth
for instance
, is
totally
relying on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
.
Besides
this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increasing
communication flow among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
parts of the world, play a pivotal role in the development of technology and the economy,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
promoting the cultural exchange between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
countries.

On the other hand
, it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects too.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Increasing
number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
from various places, there is a greater
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of disease getting transported to other nations. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
“
The term "Coronavirus" (= disease) is spelled as one word.
Corona Virus
”,
for example
, whose outbreak began in China, has caused a medical emergency to break out in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
Consequently
, it affects the import-export business and lowering the countries'
overall
economy and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
aviation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
bear the loss due to cancelled flights. Apart from this,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
youngsters may
be attracted
to the western culture which the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
bring with them and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel a threat to their culture.

To sum up, I would concede that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increasing
the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
does
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
adverse effects. Despite that fact
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
created by it outweigh the drawbacks. A wise
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
would be to take more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
out of this and keeping up the efforts to minimize the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay International travel is becoming cheaper and countries are opening their door to more and more tourists. Do the advantages of increased tourists outweigh disadvantages? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
327 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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