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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Laptop is the first thing that they should have to help their learning process. Use specific reasons and example to support your answer. v.284

Laptop is the first thing that they should have to help their learning process. Use specific reasons and example to support your answer. v. 284
It is thought by many that companies should have a minimum percentage of women in senior and management positions, especially that they occupy more than 50 percent of the workforce. This assay totally agrees with this as qualifications should be the metric to assess employees not gender besides the ability to increase creativity. Promotions should be based on merits, not based on sex. Taking into consideration the qualifications the women have and their percentage in the workforce it is inevitable that they will have a higher chance to be in high-level positions. However, nowadays it is more based on gender, for example, when I was in my previous work my manager had to leave the company leaving only women to take his place. Unfortunately, our boss hired a man from outside the company because he does not believe that women can be managers. Having a mix of males and females in high-level positions can be an eye-opener for new ideas. Women and men have different views, mixing them together can lead to new innovations that were not being done or thought about before. For example, a study held by Harvard University shows that companies who have women in higher positions are most likely to be more creative which leads to more sustainability in the marketplace. In conclusion, having more women in high-level positions is advantageous as it refreshes the workforce leading to more ideas to flow. In addition, it is a realistic result of hiring people based on qualifications, and it is preferable that companies go with this approach.
It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
should have a minimum percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
in senior and management
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positions
,
especially
that they occupy more than 50 percent of the workforce. This assay
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
with this as qualifications should be the metric to assess employees not gender
besides
the ability to increase creativity.

Promotions should
be based
on merits, not based on sex. Taking into consideration the qualifications the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
have and their percentage in the workforce it is inevitable that they will have a higher chance to be in high-level
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positions
.
However
, nowadays it is more based on gender,
for example
, when I was in my previous work my manager had to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
leaving
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
to take his place. Unfortunately, our boss hired a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
from outside the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he does not believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
can be managers.

Having a mix of males and females in high-level
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positions
can be an eye-opener for new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Women
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
views, mixing them together can lead to new innovations that were not
being done
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.
For example
, a study held by Harvard University
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
who have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
in higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positions
are most likely to be more creative which leads to more sustainability in the marketplace.

In conclusion
, having more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
in high-level
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positions
is advantageous as it refreshes the workforce leading to more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
to flow.
In addition
, it is a realistic result of hiring
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
based on qualifications, and it is preferable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
go with
this approach.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Laptop is the first thing that they should have to help their learning process. Use specific reasons and example to support your answer. v. 284

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
259 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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