Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the International music that is heard everywhere nowadays? v.6

There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the International music that is heard everywhere nowadays? v. 6
Music is part of life. In today’s world music has a big impact on peoples' lives. Traditional music of a country is based on culture as International music follows the people's interest and much more. We need music in our life because it helps to express feelings. Traditional music which is “Indian Classical” in my country, totally based on our culture. Music carries Indian history as well as a great king and their kingdom information. Example “Powada” contains courage stories of great kings. Indian classical music plays main roles in Indian knowledge about music. Traditional music also describes the lifestyle of people, which helps archaeologists to study history. Instruments used indicate technology they are familiar with. For example Mrudung, Tabla, Tambora etc. These are Indian classical instruments. International music evolved with new technology. Like EDM, Autotune effects, editing and mixing sounds simultaneously to have new creations. Mainly focused on people’s interest. Nowadays, the music industry is more towards making profit. Some creators follow traditional ways, but they are less in number. Apart from this they mainly cover day to day situations, which involve people more. This is the main reason for the popularity. Everyone has their own taste in music. We need traditional music to carry our history and international music to have greater involvement in music. As per me, Traditional music is important to carry forward to the next generation so they can understand our ancient heritage and culture. For passion and enjoyment we can listen and follow international music too.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
is part of life. In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
impact on peoples'
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
of a country
is based
on culture as International
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
follows the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's interest and much more. We need
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
in our life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to express feelings.

Traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
which is “Indian Classical” in my country,
totally
based on our culture.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
carries Indian history
as well
as a great king and their kingdom information. Example “
Possible spelling mistake found.
Powada
” contains courage stories of great kings. Indian classical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
plays main roles in Indian knowledge about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describes
the lifestyle of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
archaeologists to study history. Instruments
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
indicate technology they are familiar with.
For example
Possible spelling mistake found.
Mrudung
, Tabla,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tambora
etc. These are Indian classical instruments.

International
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
evolved with new technology. Like EDM,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Autotune
effects, editing and mixing sounds
simultaneously
to have new creations.
Mainly
focused on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s interest. Nowadays, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
industry is more towards making profit.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
creators follow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
ways,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they are
A more concise phrase may lose no meaning and sound more powerful.
less in number
. Apart from this they
mainly
cover day to day situations, which involve
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
more. This is the main reason for the popularity.

Everyone has their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
taste in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
. We need
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
to carry our history and international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
to have greater involvement in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
. As per me,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to carry forward to the
next
generation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can understand our ancient heritage and culture. For passion and enjoyment we can listen and follow international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
too.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
It is astonishing how much enjoyment one can get out of a language that one understands imperfectly.
Basil Lanneau Gildersleeve

IELTS essay There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the International music that is heard everywhere nowadays? v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
252 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts