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Some people feel that children should be educated in single sex schools; others argue that mixed schools are better. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.2

Some people feel that children should be educated in single sex schools; others argue that mixed schools are better. v. 2
The current educational institutes are offering different accommodation facilities, mainly based on sexuality. Some prefer studying in single sexuality oriented institute while some prefer going to schools which have mixed sex teaching facilities. This essay will argue the contradictory viewpoint between people based on which mode of studying facilities should children opt. Firstly, a certain amount of the population feels that children should be sent to academy which only promote a single sexuality. They firmly believe that this facility will help them to reduce the growing amount of love relationships between students and they also lose their focus on their studies. For instance, 60% of students who study in co- education have affairs and it has been proved that these people scored less compared to people who are single. Hence, children studying in this schools can avoid having affairs and also can focus on studies. On the other hand, some of them argue that children should be sent to co-education schools rather than single sex schools. The main reason behind their thought process is because this type of schools will promote children to be open minded rather than being a broad minded with respect to gender. To illustrate this, people who had a background of studying in co-education get along with opposite sexuality well while other people find it to be difficult. Therefore, studying in mixed sex institute will helps them to get long well with one another and also in addition avoids them to think in a broad way. So, what kind of a academy should children be sent? Well, although the single sex institutesex institute reduces the rate of students to fall in love, but this idea will develop kids to be anti towards their opposite gender. Whereas, co-education schools will reduce the gender differences and in addition it helps children to be comfortable with the opposite sexuality. To conclude, I personally feel it is essential for every kid to study in mixed institute as these schools outweigh single sex schools in many different positive ways.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
educational institutes are offering
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
accommodation facilities,
mainly
based on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sexuality
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
prefer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sexuality
oriented institute while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
prefer going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
which have mixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sex
teaching facilities. This essay will argue the contradictory viewpoint between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
based on which mode of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
facilities should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
opt.

Firstly
, a certain amount of the population feels that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
to academy which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
promote a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sexuality
. They
firmly
believe that this facility will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the growing amount of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
relationships between
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
students and
they
also
lose their focus on their studies.
For instance
, 60% of students who study in co- education have affairs and it has
been proved
that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
scored less compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
single
.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
in
Did you mean "these"?
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
can avoid having affairs and
also
can focus on studies.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
to co-education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sex
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
. The main reason behind their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
process is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
will promote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to be
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
open minded
rather
than being a
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
broad minded
with respect to gender. To illustrate this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who had a background of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
in co-education
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
along with opposite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sexuality
well while other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
find it to be difficult.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
in mixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sex
institute will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
long well with one another and
also
in addition
avoids them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
Consider replacing "in a broad way" with the adverb for "broad"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a broad way
.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, what
If 'kind' is a classification term, 'a' is not necessary. Use "kind of". (The phrases 'kind of' and 'sort of' are informal if they mean 'to some extent'.)
kind of a
academy should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
? Well, although the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sex
Possible spelling mistake found.
institutesex
institute
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
the rate of students to fall in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
will develop kids to be anti towards their opposite gender. Whereas, co-education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the gender differences and
in addition
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to be comfortable with the opposite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sexuality
.
To conclude
, I
personally
feel it is essential for every kid to study in mixed institute as these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
outweigh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sex
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
ways.
16Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
41Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people feel that children should be educated in single sex schools; others argue that mixed schools are better. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
338 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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