Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

International tourism and international trade are two important aspects of the development of the economy of a country and a country can get numerous benefits from the close relationship it maintains with foreign countries. v.6

International tourism and international trade are two important aspects of the development of the economy of a country and a country can get numerous benefits from the close relationship it maintains with foreign countries. v. 6
We are usually made to learn a wide variety of subjects in our school. We practice Math for computational skills and again have to memorise past events as part of world history. Within all this, schools have made provisions for recreational activities such as musical classes. However, not every person finds such musical classes beneficial for a child. I believe music can be an exemplary form of relaxation in the midst of a competitive school environment. Back during my high school days, I used to feel over-burdened by all the lessons in a day. I used to fervently wait for my ECA classes where we were taught how to play the cello. I still remember how every chord I used to play, removed the chaos from my mind and refreshed me. Moreover, not every student in a class aspires to be a scientist or an engineer. There are always those few, who want to dip their talent in the soothing tunes of music. Otherwise, we would never have had composers like Beethoven or even Myles Kennedy. So, those music classes could be the stepping ground for many a Barba Streisand. Many people might argue that such classes would distract a student from their homework or project work or would take up additional time that could have been better utilised for mainstream subjects. However, I remember our school used to space our music classes in between major lessons with its duration strictly being similar to other classes. Most of my classmates used to comment on how, after our music lessons, they used to feel more invigorated or inspired to tackle their homework. So such a measure by every school could dissipate such misgivings. Hence, it can be concluded that the time and money spent behind music would benefit a child much more than utilising all their resources only behind mainstream subjects.
We are
usually
made to learn a wide variety of subjects in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. We practice Math for computational
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and again
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
Possible spelling mistake. 'memorise' is British English.
memorise
past
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
as part of world history. Within all this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
have made provisions for recreational activities such as musical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
.
However
, not every person finds such musical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
beneficial for a child.

I believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
can be an exemplary form of relaxation in the midst of a competitive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
environment. Back during my high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
days, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to feel over-burdened by all the lessons in a day. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
fervently
wait for my ECA
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
where we
were taught
how to play the cello. I
still
remember how every chord I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to play, removed the chaos from my mind and refreshed me.
Moreover
, not every student in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
aspires to be a scientist or an engineer. There are always those few, who want to dip their talent in the soothing tunes of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
.
Otherwise
, we would never have had composers like Beethoven or even Myles Kennedy.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
could be the stepping ground for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
a
Possible spelling mistake found.
Barba
Streisand.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
might argue that such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
would distract a student from their homework or project work or would take up additional time that could have been better
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilised' is British English.
utilised
for mainstream subjects.
However
, I remember our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to space our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
in between major lessons with its duration
strictly
being similar to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
. Most of my classmates
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to comment on how, after our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
lessons, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to feel more invigorated or inspired to tackle their homework.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
such a measure by every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
could dissipate such misgivings.

Hence
, it can
be concluded
that the time and money spent behind
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
would benefit a child much more than
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilising' is British English.
utilising
all their resources
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
behind mainstream subjects.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay International tourism and international trade are two important aspects of the development of the economy of a country and a country can get numerous benefits from the close relationship it maintains with foreign countries. v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
310 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts