Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

International tourism and international trade are two important aspects of the development of the economy of a country and a country can get numerous benefits from the close relationship it maintains with foreign countries. v.2

International tourism and international trade are two important aspects of the development of the economy of a country and a country can get numerous benefits from the close relationship it maintains with foreign countries. v. 2
In recent years, the change in spending money to buy people's needs has occurred dramatically. As a result, it always will be a controversial topic whether it is a bad or positive trend relating to the shopping habit which has become a routine task and even a hobby. This essay, as my point of view, leads to, will try to come up with several considerations as I believe that an intermediate position can be taken relating to this issue. Shopping, that contradicts the topic regards, is a "nightmare" because the impacts which are dire & inevitable. Consumerism, in some ways, contributes bad things to the society as well as the civilisations. People who overcapitalize their money can spend their revenues in nothing and as a result, they suffer in managing their funding and try to borrow a big amount of money for just their basic needs. Psychologists argue that addiction in shopping which creates consumerism behaviour can lead to several criminal dire effects such as robbery and stealing. However, without shopping and its relating things governments will face the problem in controlling the economy. The thing which can grow the Gross Domestic Products indicator is expenditures, especially the private one. Without increasing in this indicator, there will be severe implications which the economist called unemployment. The improvement of spending money indicates that people in the country are wealthy and also projects the prosperity of the nation which influences the corporations to produce products in high quantity as well as high quality. Throughout this trend, the employers will try to provide immense chances for people to get their job in the corporations. As consequences, spending in buying products, even it is a hobby or not, with larger portions helps economy matters indirectly. To sum up, having considered the discussion above, I believe it will always create both positive and negative impacts, but shopping habit can be useful if the shoppers expend their money wisely.
In recent years, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's needs has occurred
dramatically
.
As a result
, it always will be a controversial topic whether it is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
trend relating to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
habit which has become a routine task and even a hobby. This essay, as my point of view, leads to, will try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
up with several considerations as I believe that an intermediate position can
be taken
relating to this issue.

Shopping, that contradicts the topic regards, is a
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
nightmare
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the impacts which are dire & inevitable. Consumerism, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
ways, contributes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
things to the society
as well
as the
Possible spelling mistake. 'civilisations' is British English.
civilisations
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
who overcapitalize their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
can spend their revenues in nothing and
as a result
, they suffer in managing their funding and try to borrow a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
their basic needs. Psychologists argue that addiction in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
which creates consumerism
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
can lead to several criminal dire effects such as robbery and stealing.

However
, without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
and its relating things
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
will face the problem in controlling the economy. The thing which can grow the Gross Domestic Products indicator is expenditures,
especially
the private one. Without increasing in this indicator, there will be severe implications which the economist called unemployment. The improvement of spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
indicates that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the country are wealthy and
also
projects the prosperity of the nation which influences the corporations to produce products in high quantity
as well
as high quality. Throughout this trend, the employers will try to provide immense chances for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
their job in the corporations. As consequences, spending in buying products, even it is a hobby or not, with larger portions
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
economy matters
indirectly
.

To sum up, having considered the discussion above, I believe it will always create both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
habit can be useful if the shoppers expend their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
wisely
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay International tourism and international trade are two important aspects of the development of the economy of a country and a country can get numerous benefits from the close relationship it maintains with foreign countries. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
323 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts