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International tourism and international trade are two important aspects of the development of the economy of a country and a country can get numerous benefits from the close relationship it maintains with foreign countries. v.5

International tourism and international trade are two important aspects of the development of the economy of a country and a country can get numerous benefits from the close relationship it maintains with foreign countries. v. 5
Some people think that students should be taught subjects like science and computers at schools instead of wasting time and money in music and art classes. I completely disagree with this statement because students should be allowed to explore all the subject areas rather than focusing only on some limited areas. Only studying subjects like science, maths and computers make students monotonous. As we know, these subjects are comparatively tough than other subjects. The students also try too hard on understanding those subjects to secure good grades in the examination. Sometimes, some students even lose interest in their study if they are not allowed to do any other extra activities except studying. So, there must be few extra classes for them to enjoy their day at school in spite of all the tough study they have to do. Not all students are interested in science. Some of them might be interested in music or arts. Also, some students can be good in both science and music or arts. Having art and music classes help them to actually bring out their hidden talent in front of the whole world. Furthermore, it will give them a chance to be creative. In addition, such classes help students to decrease the stress of study. This, in turn, will help them to be focused on their study since a stress-free mind can learn things quickly and accurately. Similarly, being in such classes not only help students to enjoy their day at school but also keep them occupied during their free time. Instead of wasting their time in watching television and playing computer games, they can practice music and art and be creative. This way they will be entertaining themselves as well as practising and enhancing perfection on what they love. To sum up, classes like music and arts are really important for students. This should be made available in every school to motivate students in extra-curricular activities along with their study which will help them in their intellectual development.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should
be taught
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and computers at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
instead
of wasting time and money in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
. I completely disagree with this statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to explore all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
areas
rather
than focusing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
limited areas.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
,
Possible spelling mistake. 'maths' is British English.
maths
and computers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
monotonous. As we know, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
are
comparatively
Use "tougher" to make a comparison with this adjective.
tough
than other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
also
try too
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
on understanding those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
to secure
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
grades in the examination.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
even lose interest in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
if they are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to do any other extra activities except studying.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, there
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be few extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
for them to enjoy their day at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
in spite of
all the tough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
do.

Not all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are interested
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
of them might
be interested
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
.
Also
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
in both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
. Having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them to actually bring out their hidden talent in front of the whole world.
Furthermore
, it will give them a chance to be creative.
In addition
, such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to decrease the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
. This, in turn, will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them to
be focused
on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
since a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
-free mind can learn things
quickly
and
accurately
.

Similarly
, being in such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to enjoy their day at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
them occupied during their free time.
Instead
of wasting their time in watching television and playing computer games, they can practice
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
and be creative. This way they will be entertaining themselves
as well
as
Possible spelling mistake. 'practising' is British English.
practising
and enhancing perfection on what they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
.

To sum up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
are
really
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. This should
be made
available in every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
to motivate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in extra-curricular activities along with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
which will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them in their intellectual development.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
53Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay International tourism and international trade are two important aspects of the development of the economy of a country and a country can get numerous benefits from the close relationship it maintains with foreign countries. v. 5

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
334 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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