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International marketing is sometimes seen as invasive and an intrusion into the country in question. Others argue that it is a necessary and economical form of education in addition to spreading ideas, language and culture. Discuss both sides and give your opinion. v.6

International marketing is sometimes seen as invasive and an intrusion into the country in question. Others argue that it is a necessary and economical form of education in addition to spreading ideas, language and culture. v. 6
It is argued by some that international marketing can be involved in the countries aggressively and intensively through the channel or websites, while others think that the advertisements are great opportunity for the citizens to be aware of different cultures, learning new languages and ideas. In my opinion, I believe that international marketing has a crucial effect to help the globalization which makes people are closer, but at the same time it can be disastrous for the culture disruption while learning new cultures. Firstly, after the invention of the internet and wide range of communication network, all societies have been feeling pressure themselves to learn English, which is a most common language for now, to communicate other societies to be able to expand their commercial business mostly. In other words, globalization allows the marketing sector to be involved the countries all over the world that’s why it is inevitable that to limit the marketing sector. For instance, one of the biggest companies, Coca Cola, uses the its marketing power in every country both developed and undeveloped ones. Thanks to Coca Cola, underdeveloped countries' citizens are now aware of the different cultures, languages and most importantly ideas (Coca Cola’s main marketing idea is peacefulness for each of us) through its commercials. On the other hand, most of the countries have been managed and operated with capitalism that teaches the big corporate companies to spread every corner of the countries with intensive politics to increase their values without any ethics and morals. Because of its power which is money and political pressures, channels and some websites broadcast the commercials all day long even though without thinking the age criteria. For example, as per the academic paper published by the World Bank, it says that international marketing sector has been spreading rapidly and the data show that commercial’s affects teenager morals and destroys family bonds. In conclusion, in the light of the information given above, even though some of the brands’ global marketing strategies are mostly more peaceful and friendly, the international commercials should be audited and edited by the governments as per society’s demand and parents’ recommendations.
It
is argued
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marketing
can
be involved
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
aggressively
and
intensively
through the channel or websites, while others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the advertisements are great opportunity for the citizens to be aware of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultures, learning new languages and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
. In my opinion, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marketing
has a crucial effect to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the globalization which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are closer,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
at the same time it can be disastrous for the culture disruption while learning new cultures.

Firstly
, after the invention of the internet and wide range of communication network, all societies have been feeling pressure themselves to learn English, which is a most common language for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, to communicate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
societies to be able to expand their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
commercial
business
mostly
. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, globalization
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marketing
sector to
be involved
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
all over the world that’s why it is inevitable that to limit the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marketing
sector.
For instance
, one of the biggest
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
, Coca Cola,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
the its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marketing
power in every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
both developed and undeveloped ones. Thanks to Coca Cola, underdeveloped countries' citizens are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
aware of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultures, languages and most
importantly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
(Coca Cola’s main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marketing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
is peacefulness for each of us) through its commercials.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
have
been managed
and operated with capitalism that teaches the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
corporate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
to spread every corner of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
with intensive politics to increase their values without any ethics and morals.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of its power which is money and political pressures, channels and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
websites broadcast the commercials all day long
even though
without thinking the age criteria.
For example
, as per the academic paper published by the World Bank, it says that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marketing
sector has been spreading
rapidly
and the data
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
commercial’s
affects
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
morals and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroys
family bonds.

In conclusion
, in the light of the information
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
above,
even though
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
brands’ global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marketing
strategies are
mostly
more peaceful and friendly, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
commercials should
be audited
and edited by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
as per society’s demand and parents’ recommendations.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay International marketing is sometimes seen as invasive and an intrusion into the country in question. Others argue that it is a necessary and economical form of education in addition to spreading ideas, language and culture. v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
355 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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