Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

People should follow the customs and traditions when people start to live in a new country. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.4

People should follow the customs and traditions when people start to live in a new country. v. 4
Citizens of a country should expect that immigrants follow their customs and traditions when they start living in the country. I totally agree with this and I think that new immigrants must behave according the citizens's traditions. First of all, it is known that when people start living in a new country, they take their traditions with them and also bad behaviours that do not fit in the new country. This means, that citizens will disapprove any behaviour that is against their traditions, therefore, the immigrant could have a misconception of the country lifestyle. For example, if a citizen of a Latin American country immigrates to England, and he keeps doing the same things he did in his country like playing loud music in his house, English people will call the police and could have a fight with him. Secondly, when a person immigrates to another country, it is because he wants to live differently, and to have new opportunities. Following the customs and traditions of a new country, will help him to adapt easily in the country, thus, his life in the country will be fluent according the citizens's lifestyle. For instance, immigrating to a new country following the way citizens live, it could help a lot in the adaptability process for this person, and as a result he will fit faster that immigrants that don't follow their traditions. In conclusion, following the customs and traditions of a new country will help new immigrants adapt faster to the citizens's lifestyle, and also to have a better social acceptance.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Citizens
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
immigrants
follow their customs and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditions
when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
living in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
immigrants
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
behave according the
Did you mean "citizen's" or "citizens'"?
citizens's
traditions.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, it
is known
that when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
living in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, they take their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditions
with them and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
that do not fit in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. This means, that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
will disapprove any
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
that is
against their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditions
,
therefore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
immigrant
could have a misconception of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
lifestyle.
For example
, if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizen
of a Latin American
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
immigrates to England, and he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
doing the same things he did in his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
like playing loud music in his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
, English
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will call the police and could have a fight with him.

Secondly
, when a person immigrates to another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he wants to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
differently
, and to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
opportunities. Following the customs and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditions
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
him to adapt
easily
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
,
thus
, his life in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
will be fluent according the
Did you mean "citizen's" or "citizens'"?
citizens's
lifestyle.
For instance
, immigrating to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
following the way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
, it could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
a lot in the adaptability process for this person, and
as a result
he will fit faster that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
immigrants
that don't follow their traditions.

In conclusion
, following the customs and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditions
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
immigrants
adapt faster to the
Did you mean "citizen's" or "citizens'"?
citizens's
lifestyle, and
also
to have a better social acceptance.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
35Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay People should follow the customs and traditions when people start to live in a new country. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
259 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts