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International marketing is sometimes seen as invasive and an intrusion into the country in question. Others argue that it is a necessary and economical form of education in addition to spreading ideas, language and culture. Discuss both sides and give your opinion. v.5

International marketing is sometimes seen as invasive and an intrusion into the country in question. Others argue that it is a necessary and economical form of education in addition to spreading ideas, language and culture. v. 5
Many people today do not agree with the idea of international marketing because they see it as a threat to their countries. Others argue though, that it is important for the society especially in terms of learning culture, language and economy. In my opinion, this trend is, and has been very beneficial to the humanity. Those who oppose this development agree that it has been affecting them negatively, specifically in terms of finances. This is because as international products come to across a country, local vendors make lesser profits. An example would be the farmers in Philippines, who grow agricultural goods to make a living. But because of the emerging fruits and vegetables from other countries, the sales from their own countries decreased. This affects the growth and production of the local goods thus, leading the native people to bankruptcy. However, in my belief, international marketing has brought a couple of positive developments to the society. One of which is the wide-spread learning of different cultures. For instance, the exportation of food from Asia to the Western countries paved a way for these people to learn Japanese or Chinese cooking which are very popular now everywhere in the world. In addition to this, people also are becoming more aware how to use other languages, especially the standard one which is the English language. With these advantages, individuals become more highly educated; helping them to become globally competitive and successful. In conclusion, although others say that international marketing has become an interruption to their countries financially, I would argue that it has brought advantages to the people, especially in terms of education and culture-learning process. Governments should still be cautious in applying this though, in such a way that they protect their country’s welfare while involving the prosperity around the globe.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
marketing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
it as a threat to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. Others argue though, that it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for the society
especially
in terms of learning culture, language and economy. In my opinion, this trend is, and has been
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
beneficial to the humanity.

Those who oppose this development
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that it has been affecting them
negatively
,
specifically
in terms of finances. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
products
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to across a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, local vendors
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
lesser profits. An example would be the farmers
A determiner is probably missing here: "in the Philippines".
in Philippines
, who grow agricultural
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a living.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the emerging fruits and vegetables from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, the sales from their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
decreased. This affects the growth and production of the local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
thus
, leading the native
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to bankruptcy.

However
, in my belief,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
marketing has brought a couple of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
developments to the society. One of which is the wide-spread learning of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultures.
For instance
, the exportation of food from Asia to the Western
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
paved a way for these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to learn Japanese or Chinese cooking which are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
popular
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
everywhere in the world.
In addition
to this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
also
are becoming more aware how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
languages,
especially
the standard one which is the English language. With these advantages, individuals become more
highly
educated; helping them to become globally competitive and successful.

In conclusion
, although others say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
marketing has become an interruption to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
financially
, I would argue that it has brought advantages to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
especially
in terms of education and culture-learning process.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Governments
should
still
be cautious in applying this though, in such a way that they protect their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
welfare while involving the prosperity around the globe.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay International marketing is sometimes seen as invasive and an intrusion into the country in question. Others argue that it is a necessary and economical form of education in addition to spreading ideas, language and culture. v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
300 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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