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International air travel has a negative impact upon the environment and should, therefore, be restricted. Do you agree or not? v.4

International air travel has a negative impact upon the environment and should, therefore, be restricted. Do you agree or not? v. 4
Given the volume of air journey in the last one or two decades, many people think that it has a very negative impact on our environment and should, therefore, be restricted. Air journey has some kinds of adverse impact on the environment but the impact is not too serious to be restricted. Because of the reduced price of the air ticket and the increasing number of the tourist facilities around the world, the number of the tourist has been increasing rapidly all over the world. People now prefer plane journey over other means not only in the case of foreign journey but also for local journey. This increased number of air journey has definitely some adverse impact on the environment. It has been reported that carbon dioxide emitted from the aeroplanes hit directly the upper atmosphere layer which prevents the harmful sun rays from entering into our cities. But it is still questionable whether restriction on air travel will really reduce the impact on the environment. To exemplify it, if there is a high limitation on air journeys, people will start relying on other means of transportation, like bus, train or ship, which will also emit high amount of carbon dioxide. Besides, people will suffer a lot as bus or train journey requires much more time than air journey. The most noticeable effect will be on the tourism industries, which contribute a lot to many countries’ economy, like Nepal or Thailand. These industries will collapse after placing a high restriction on air journey as most visitors will be discouraged to travel by bus or train which is very uncomfortable. In conclusion, air journey has some negative impacts on our environment. But, placing a limitation on air travel will not be a sensible decision as the disadvantages will be much more than advantages.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Given
the volume of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
journey
in the last one or two decades,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impact
on our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
and should,
therefore
,
be restricted
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
journey
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
kinds of adverse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impact
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impact
is not too serious to
be restricted
.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
price of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
ticket and the increasing number of the tourist facilities around the world, the number of the tourist has been increasing
rapidly
all over the world.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
prefer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plane
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
journey
over other means not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in the case of foreign
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journey
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
for local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
journey
. This increased number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
journey
has definitely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
adverse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impact
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
. It has
been reported
that carbon dioxide emitted from the
Possible spelling mistake. 'aeroplanes' is British English.
aeroplanes
hit
directly
the upper atmosphere layer which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevents
the harmful sun rays from entering into our cities.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
it is
still
questionable whether restriction on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
travel will
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impact
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
. To exemplify it, if there is a high limitation on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
journeys
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
relying on other means of transportation, like bus, train or ship, which will
also
emit high amount of carbon dioxide.
Besides
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will suffer a lot as bus or train
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
journey
requires much more time than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
journey
. The most noticeable effect will be on the tourism industries, which contribute a lot to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries’ economy, like Nepal or Thailand. These industries will collapse after placing a high restriction on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
journey
as most visitors will
be discouraged
to travel by bus or train which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
uncomfortable.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
journey
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impacts
on our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, placing a limitation on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
travel will not be a sensible decision as the disadvantages will be much more than advantages.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
36Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Language comes first. It’s not that language grows out of consciousness, if you haven’t got language, you can’t be conscious.
Alan Moore

IELTS essay International air travel has a negative impact upon the environment and should, therefore, be restricted. Do you agree or not? v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
302 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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