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some people think that music is good way to bring people of different ages and culture together. to what extend do you agree or disagree. v.1

some people think that music is good way to bring people of different ages and culture together. v. 1
The music is universal language which understandable regardless of region and ethnic groups. some people believe that music is best startiegy to overcome differences and increase closeness between variety of age and civilization. In this essay we will discuss that how music explore different cultures and regions a step toward, universal harmony. The music is considered as recognition of cultures and traditions and each region have its own set of music value. In this conspicuously world because of improvement of technology one can easily access to any type of music. Although a magnificent piece urge different nationalities to discovery its more traditions. For example Indian classical folk music is such appreciated internationally particularly in English speaking countries. Each year almost 15% of total tourists came from these countries which generate a handsome amount of revenue. however, each region have its own kind of music which attract specific group of people but classical music accepted universally and most popular across the world. Many visitors might not fully understand the language and culture dully but music does not required any translator. For Example, every year a lot of people visit America to attend Justin Berber musical concert and in turn business goes up in Christmas season. People from all age groups and civilization enjoy and make new friends from other region. Although for quite sometime they forget their identity, hence all gather for same purpose. In this essay we discussed the importance of music in various aspect among many one is unity between people. I totally agreed with statement that music not only way of refreshment but having role in service of bringing cultures together. Without this world would not be so interacting.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is universal language which understandable regardless of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
region
and ethnic groups.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is best
Possible spelling mistake found.
startiegy
to overcome differences and increase closeness between variety of age and civilization. In this essay we will discuss that how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
explore
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
regions
a step toward, universal harmony.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is considered
as recognition of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
and traditions and each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
region
have its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
set of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
value. In this
conspicuously
world
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of improvement of technology one can
easily
access to any type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
a magnificent piece urge
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
nationalities to discovery its more traditions.
For example
Indian classical folk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is such appreciated
internationally
particularly
in
Did you mean the adjective "English-speaking"?
English speaking
countries. Each year almost 15% of total tourists came from these countries which generate a handsome amount of revenue.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
however
, each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
region
have its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
which attract specific group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
classical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
universally
and most popular across the world.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
visitors might not
fully
understand the language and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
dully
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
does not
The verb 'does' requires base form of the verb: "require"
required
any translator.
For Example
, every year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
visit America to attend Justin Berber musical concert and in turn business goes up in Christmas season.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
from all age groups and civilization enjoy and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
new friends from other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
region
. Although for quite sometime they forget their identity,
hence
all gather for same purpose.

In this essay we discussed the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
in various aspect among
Possible agreement error. The noun one seems to be countable; consider using: "many ones".
many one
is unity between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
with statement that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way of refreshment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
having role in service of bringing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
together. Without this world would not be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
interacting.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay some people think that music is good way to bring people of different ages and culture together. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
281 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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