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International air travel has a negative impact upon the environment and should therefore be restricted. v.1

International air travel has a negative impact upon the environment and should therefore be restricted. v. 1
In the modern life, plane or helicopter is one of the most popular forms of transport. However, international air travel causes a bad effect on the environment and should be limited. I agree this view, but I can find some benefits of using air travel. I think that there are many drawbacks. If people don't limit to travel by air, the quality of air will be not affected. Because planes, helicopters which are air transports need to consume a large amount of fuel, they emit lots of CO2 into the environment. Therefore, our health which is very important to us can be affected too. Moreover, CO2 can turn the clear atmosphere into foggy. Therefore, the sight of people will be narrowed and the beauty of views in the city will be worse. On the other hand, I can see some benefits if people use air travel. Because when you travel by air, people can spend less time than use public transports. If people want to go abroad or move with far distance, they can easily find several suitable flights for them to choose. Moreover, using means of transport is not comfortable as air travel. Because plane always has many various services, they make passengers feel pleasant during a long trip. Other factors which make the environment more polluted is aware of people. Because they always throw the trash in the rivers, road. Moreover, they burn them so the CO2 emissions from wastes which also affect to fresh air. In conclusion, travelling by air always has advantages and disadvantages base on ways of people’s using. I think we should use more public transport instead of travelling by air. Therefore, we can protect our environment.
In the modern life,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plane
or helicopter is one of the most popular forms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
.
However
, international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
causes a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
effect on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
and should
be limited
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
this view,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I can find
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits of using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
travel.

I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
drawbacks. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
don't limit to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
, the quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
will be not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
planes
, helicopters which are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transports
need to consume a large amount of fuel, they emit lots of CO2 into the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
.
Therefore
, our health which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to us can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
too.
Moreover
, CO2 can turn the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
atmosphere into foggy.
Therefore
, the sight of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
be narrowed
and the beauty of views in the city will be worse.

On the other hand
, I can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
when you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can spend less time than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transports
. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want to go abroad or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
with far distance, they can
easily
find several suitable flights for them to choose.
Moreover
, using means of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
is not comfortable as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plane
always has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
various services, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
passengers feel pleasant during a long trip.

Other factors which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
more polluted is aware of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
they always throw the trash in the rivers, road.
Moreover
, they burn them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the CO2 emissions from wastes which
also
affect to fresh air.

In conclusion
, travelling by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
always has advantages and disadvantages base on ways of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
using. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
we should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
more public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
instead
of travelling by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
.
Therefore
, we can protect our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
31Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
Language is wine upon the lips. – Virginia WoolfInspirational quotes for language learners
Virginia Woolf

IELTS essay International air travel has a negative impact upon the environment and should therefore be restricted. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
283 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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