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Integrated quest 4: Describe the structure of an insect and explain why a spider is not strictly considered an insect v.1

Integrated quest 4: Describe the structure of an insect and explain why a spider is not strictly considered an insect v. 1
It is quite common these days to see an advertisement about studying abroad everywhere since students start applying for outside universities more than in the past. Certainly, most of the universities around the world accept students from different nationalities, and they help them to overcome the obstacles that could be encountered. Despite the fact that studying overseas can be valuable, it could have some detrimental issues that could change the spectacular view about the outside education dream. In this essay, I will discuss the advantages and disadvantages of studying abroad and draw a personal conclusion about it. Being away from the comfort place will nourish your experience, and enhance and sculpture the skills. Therefore, getting outside of education is kind of a useful adventure that reinforces individual skills and knowledge. In terms of skills, such a journey will improve the confidence, responsibility, and the way of resolving the problem solely. Furthermore, the worthy knowledge that will be poured into the country from its students when they returned will be impressive, and certainly, it will somehow lead to prosperity over the year. No doubt that any subject has side negative, and learning outside will have that too. There are two highlighted issues, one of them affects the country’s economy and the other disadvantage is related to the culture. More students applying for foreign colleges will reduce the profits of the local ones and diminish the reputation of them over the year which might cause financial problems as a result. Furthermore, spending a long period in different cultures could be difficult at the beginning, but ultimately it will lead to slight changes in one’s behaviour, and that might affect the country’s culture in general due to the huge amount of its overseas students. In conclusion, studying abroad is beneficial for developing students and their countries. However, some issues could reduce the benefits of this idea. Certainly, the country will be harmed financially and culturally if a lot of pupils look for outside universities. Therefore, this process should be supervised and managed by the country to avoid bad outcomes.
It is quite common these days to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
an advertisement about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
abroad everywhere since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
applying for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outside
universities more than in the past.
Certainly
, most of the universities around the world accept
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
nationalities, and they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to overcome the obstacles that could
be encountered
. Despite the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
overseas can be valuable, it could have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
detrimental issues that could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the spectacular view about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outside
education dream. In this essay, I will discuss the advantages and disadvantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
abroad and draw a personal conclusion about it.

Being away from the comfort place will nourish your experience, and enhance and sculpture the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
Therefore
, getting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outside
of education is
If 'kind' is a classification term, 'a' is not necessary. Use "kind of". (The phrases 'kind of' and 'sort of' are informal if they mean 'to some extent'.)
kind of a
useful adventure that reinforces individual
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and knowledge. In terms of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, such a journey will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the confidence, responsibility, and the way of resolving the problem
solely
.
Furthermore
, the worthy knowledge that will
be poured
into the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
from its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
when they returned will be impressive, and
certainly
, it will somehow lead to prosperity over the year.

No doubt that any subject has side
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
, and learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outside
will have that too. There are two highlighted issues, one of them affects the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
economy and the other disadvantage
is related
to the culture. More
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
applying for foreign colleges will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the profits of the local ones and diminish the reputation of them over the year which might cause financial problems
as a result
.
Furthermore
, spending a long period in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultures could be difficult at the beginning,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
ultimately
it will lead to slight
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in one’s
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
, and that might affect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
culture
in general
due to the huge amount of its overseas students.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
abroad is beneficial for developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
issues could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the benefits of this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
.
Certainly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
will
be harmed
financially
and
culturally
if
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
pupils look for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outside
universities.
Therefore
, this process should
be supervised
and managed by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to avoid
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
outcomes.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
A man who knows two languages is worth two men.
French Proverb

IELTS essay Integrated quest 4: Describe the structure of an insect and explain why a spider is not strictly considered an insect v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
346 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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