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In your opinion, what are the characteristics of a good daughter or son in a family? Use specific reasons and examples to explain your answer v.1

In your opinion, what are the characteristics of a good daughter or son in a family? Use specific reasons and examples to explain your answer v. 1
The modern generation's inactive livelihood is becoming serious in many nations. Although the phenomenon threatens numerous societies, the effects can be combated successfully. This essay looks at the reasons why current people are getting unfit and sedentary and suggests some solutions to the problems. The current generation's lazy lifestyle causes multiple issues, and there are two credible reasons. The high use of electronics is the main reason because the development of technology has made daily household easier. For example, washing machines and vacuum cleaners lessened a big burden for all housewives, but they might lose a valuable chance to work out. The second reason is that young people, especially teenagers, play mobile games every day; the addictive feature of games is overwhelming young people to spend an enormous amount of hours with small devices on their bed or couch. However, the menace of the sedentary lifestyle for the current generation can be fought. Education is the main way to tackle the issue. People need to be aware of the effects so that they can avoid this problem. Besides, governments could also use infomercials to educate their citizens. This is a good approach because they can alert people about the negative aspects of having an inactive lifestyle. In conclusion, inactiveness for the modern generation is a serious issue because it causes harmful effects on people's health. This is due to the reason that electronic gadgets made their life easier and so many people are spending their time playing mobile games. The best approaches to deal with it are to educate people about its damaging effects and for governments to ensure the consequences through public service advertising. Although the problem is unlikely to be entirely eliminated in the short term, these are concrete steps to reduce the effects it is having on the current society.
The modern generation's inactive livelihood is becoming serious in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
nations. Although the phenomenon threatens numerous societies, the effects can
be combated
successfully
. This essay looks at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
current
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are getting unfit and sedentary and suggests
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
solutions to the problems.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
current
generation's lazy lifestyle causes multiple issues, and there are two credible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
. The high
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of electronics is the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the development of technology has made daily household easier.
For example
, washing machines and vacuum cleaners lessened a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
burden for all housewives,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they might lose a valuable chance to work out. The second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is that young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
especially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
, play mobile games every day; the addictive feature of games is overwhelming young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to spend an enormous amount of hours with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
devices on their bed or couch.

However
, the menace of the sedentary lifestyle for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
current
generation can
be fought
. Education is the main way to tackle the issue.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
need to be aware of the effects
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can avoid this problem.
Besides
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
could
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
infomercials to educate their citizens. This is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
approach
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can alert
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
about the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspects of having an inactive lifestyle.

In conclusion
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
inactiveness
for the modern generation is a serious issue
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it causes harmful effects on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's health. This is due to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
that electronic gadgets made their life easier and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are spending their time playing mobile games. The best approaches to deal with it are to educate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
about its damaging effects and for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
to ensure the
The usual preposition to use after "consequences" is not "through". Did you mean "consequences of", "consequences for", or "consequences on"?
consequences through
public service advertising. Although the problem is unlikely to be
entirely
eliminated in the short term, these are concrete steps to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the effects it is having on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
current
society.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay In your opinion, what are the characteristics of a good daughter or son in a family? Use specific reasons and examples to explain your answer v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
303 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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