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Notice Concerning Old Main The college will be celebrating the one-hundredth anniversary of the founding of the school by renovating Old Main, the original building. Two alternative plans are being considered. One plan would leave the outer structure inta v.1

Notice Concerning Old Main The college will be celebrating the one-hundredth anniversary of the founding of the school by renovating Old Main, the original building. Two alternative plans are being considered. One plan would leave the outer structure inta v. 1
With the introduction of the internet and its evolution, modern society is benefiting from it immensely. As a result of this online shopping, new ways of communication have introduced people who do not need actual human interaction with each other. There are many advantages of this development even though there are a few disadvantages. Undoubtedly, the internet enables a massive amount of possibilities among people. However, there are drawbacks of these technologies. There are true stories, through social media, youngsters get caught with notorious unfortunate events. For instance, recently there was an incident happened in Sri Lanka, a party advertised on Facebook where everyone will receive free food and drinks, but participants must be naked among the crowd, and this went like a viral, and many youngsters participated. Such events affect the culture of the society. Nevertheless, e-commerce and business communication applications provide many advantages to the community. Nowadays, people used to doing shopping online rather than going to shopping centres to save time for any other important task. Apart from that, the collaborative applications such as Web-ex has made it easy for a business meeting by enabling virtual meeting rooms saving fortunes which used for travelling. Such virtual meetings are very effective mainly because even though the people are far apart, they always feel that they are discussing on the same table. Furthermore, as a result of high-speed connectivity, most of the workforce could work from home, saving enormous amounts of time and money rather than stuck in rush-hour traffic. Recent studies have shown that productivity is high within the workforce who work from home. This study further explained this is due to the less stress as commuters are not held on traffic jams. In conclusion, the internet has introduced many productive features where people can benefit in many ways. The growing e-commerce, virtual meeting rooms and faster internet have enabled a whole new lifestyle for its users.
With the introduction of the internet and its evolution, modern society is benefiting from it
immensely
.
As a result
of this online shopping, new ways of communication have introduced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who do not need actual human interaction with each other. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages of this development
even though
there are a few disadvantages.

Undoubtedly
, the internet enables a massive amount of possibilities among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
However
, there are drawbacks of these technologies. There are true stories, through social media, youngsters
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
caught with notorious unfortunate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
.
For instance
, recently there was an incident happened in Sri Lanka, a party advertised on Facebook where everyone will receive free food and drinks,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
participants
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be naked
among the crowd, and this went like a viral, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
youngsters participated. Such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
affect the culture of the society.

Nevertheless
, e-commerce and business communication applications provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages to the community. Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
The usual collocation for an activity ending in "-ing" is "go" not "do" or "play." Revise: "going shopping".
doing shopping
online
rather
than going to shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
to save time for any other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
task. Apart from that, the collaborative applications such as Web-ex has made it easy for a business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meeting
by enabling virtual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meeting
rooms saving fortunes which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for travelling. Such virtual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meetings
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
effective
mainly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
even though
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are far apart, they always feel that they are discussing on the same table.

Furthermore
,
as a result
of high-speed connectivity, most of the workforce could work from home, saving enormous amounts of time and money
rather
than stuck in rush-hour traffic. Recent studies have shown that productivity is high within the workforce who work from home. This study
further
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
this is due to the less
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
as commuters are not held on traffic jams.

In conclusion
, the internet has introduced
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
productive features where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can benefit in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways. The growing e-commerce, virtual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meeting
rooms and faster internet have enabled a whole new lifestyle for its users.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Notice Concerning Old Main The college will be celebrating the one-hundredth anniversary of the founding of the school by renovating Old Main, the original building. Two alternative plans are being considered. One plan would leave the outer structure inta v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
319 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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