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Inspite of advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem? v.2

Inspite of advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem? v. 2
The application of chemical in the preservation and production of food, has called for a concern. This essay will reveal my opinion that the introduction of chemical in the production and preservation of food has greater negative effects than its positive effects. Admittedly, the use of chemicals in producing and preserving food gives longer life to eatable items. Applying chemical in preparing what we eat, in addition to the storage of the eatable items, keep them from being spoilt or destroyed by certain elements. For example, people are beginning to introduce sniper, to sustain the life of beans because, it can chase grain weevils from destroying the beans. Also, people apply chemical in the preparation of food to either increase the quantity or to give the food a better look. An example is the preservative liquid applied in fish feeds. These feeds enhance the growth and well being of fishes thereby ensuring high prices at the time of sales. Nevertheless, when we consume food, it is expected to nourish our body and not to worsen our health. The benefits chemicals embodied when it is introduced in human consumables, has obvious indication to the producers and less to the consumers. For instance, research has shown that the usage of chemicals in what we consume and the storage, pose several health issues that have led to instant deaths and prolong illnesses. Due to the increase in the application of chemicals in what we consume, a number of persons are now considering sniper to be a preservative of beans, which they believe would chase out grain weevils from the beans thereby increasing the shelf life. In conclusion, the use of chemical in what we take into our system is increasingly calling for a concern. Applying preservative chemical in what we eat is of great negative effect to the body. This essay, has presented my view that the introduction of chemical on what we consume, should not be practiced, as its positive outcome do not surpass the troubles that emanate from it.
The application of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chemical
in the preservation and production of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, has called for a concern. This essay will reveal my opinion that the introduction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chemical
in the production and preservation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
has greater
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects than its
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects.

Admittedly
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chemicals
in producing and preserving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
gives longer life to eatable items. Applying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chemical
in preparing what we eat,
in addition
to the storage of the eatable items,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
them from being
Possible spelling mistake. 'spoilt' is British English.
spoilt
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
by certain elements.
For example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are beginning to introduce sniper, to sustain the life of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beans
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, it can chase grain weevils from destroying the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beans
.
Also
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
apply
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chemical
in the preparation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
to either increase the quantity or to give the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
a better look. An example is the preservative liquid applied in fish feeds. These feeds enhance the growth and
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well being
of fishes thereby ensuring high prices at the time of sales.

Nevertheless
, when we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consume
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to nourish our body and not to worsen our health. The benefits
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chemicals
embodied when it
is introduced
in human consumables, has obvious indication to the producers and less to the consumers.
For instance
, research has shown that the usage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chemicals
in what we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consume
and the storage, pose several health issues that have led to instant deaths and prolong illnesses. Due to the increase in the application of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chemicals
in what we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consume
, a number of persons are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
considering sniper to be a preservative of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beans
, which they believe would chase out grain weevils from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beans
thereby increasing the shelf life.

In conclusion
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chemical
in what we take into our system is
increasingly
calling for a concern. Applying preservative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chemical
in what we eat is of great
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect to the body. This essay, has presented my view that the introduction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chemical
on what we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consume
, should not
be practiced
, as its
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
outcome do not surpass the troubles that emanate from it.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Inspite of advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
338 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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