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In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem? v.1

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem? v. 1
Agricultural development has positive impacts on human being, however, there still remains starvation in some regions all over the world. Although this could be caused by many issues, solutions can be taken to alleviate. First and foremost, it is undoubted that the main problems resulting in food shortage can be various. Poverty in education leads to low-self-awareness that can be listed as one of the most fundamental reasons of insufficient food supply. For instance, residents in poor countries can give birth at high rates without tight control by government and as a result, it unintentionally puts a massive burden on existing food stock. In addition, issues of hunger could stem from consecutive wars amongst nations. Crops are destroyed and diseases spread in many areas; therefore, people strive for peace of their families and starvation is not an exception. The possible measures to this global problem can be solved by short-term and long-term campaigns. In terms of short-term plans, it is encouraged to establish charity foundations that can raise funds to sponsor agricultural products and food for poor people. Health and medicine aids should be high priorities to save them from tragedies of wars and infectious diseases. On the other hand, solutions to prevent nuclear power conflicts and global wars are vital in long-run period. Participation of worldwide organizations and activists in protesting wars, for example, is a positive sign that indicates we are taking practical actions to reduce thousands died of hunger. In conclusion, while many reasons can result in lack of food in many countries, from my perspective, these problems could be addressed with the relevant remedies.
Agricultural development has
positive
impacts on human being,
however
, there
still
remains starvation in
some
regions all over the world. Although this could
be caused
by
many
issues, solutions can
be taken
to alleviate.

First
and foremost, it
is undoubted
that the main problems resulting in
food
shortage can be various. Poverty in education leads to low-self-awareness that can
be listed
as one of the most fundamental reasons of insufficient
food
supply.
For instance
, residents in poor countries can give birth at high rates without tight control by
government
and
as a result
, it
unintentionally
puts a massive burden on existing
food
stock.
In addition
, issues of hunger could stem from consecutive
wars
amongst nations. Crops are
destroyed
and diseases spread in
many
areas;
therefore
,
people
strive for peace of their families and starvation is not an exception.

The possible measures to this global problem can
be solved
by short-term and long-term campaigns. In terms of short-term plans, it
is encouraged
to establish charity foundations that can raise funds to sponsor agricultural products and
food
for poor
people
. Health and medicine aids should be high priorities to save them from tragedies of
wars
and infectious diseases.
On the other hand
, solutions to
prevent
nuclear power conflicts and global
wars
are vital in long-run period. Participation of worldwide organizations and activists in protesting
wars
,
for example
, is a
positive
sign
that indicates we are taking practical actions to
reduce
thousands
died
of hunger.

In conclusion
, while
many
reasons can result in lack of
food
in
many
countries, from my perspective, these problems could
be addressed
with the relevant remedies.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
268 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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