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In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem? v.3

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem? v. 3
Despite the fact that farming methods and yield improved dramatically over the last century, millions of people still do not have enough food to eat. There are social, economical and climatic reasons behind this disturbing phenomenon. Famine or food scarcity only affects the poor. Whether they grow their food or not, the rich will ensure that they have enough on their platter. The poor, unfortunately, lack this purchasing power. If food is not made available at concessional rates, they cannot have to access to it. Most of the time poor people do not own any land. Consequently, they cannot grow their own food. They have to buy their food and when food prices increase, they cannot have their fill. The change in climate also causes famine. Extreme drought like conditions persist in some countries. For example, in some parts of Africa it has not rained in years. Consequently, people living in those regions cannot grow their crops. They are dependent on food grown in other areas and if that is not available, then these people will have to go hungry. Political reasons also contribute to this problem. Many countries refuse to share their water resources with other countries. Often times this is caused by the enmity between these nations. Unfortunately, this practice affects the food security in those countries that do not have adequate water resources of their own. In order to solve this problem, the governments need to ensure that food is available for the poor for free or at concessional rates. Rich countries which grow surplus food should show the magnanimity to share their excess with poor countries that do not have enough food to feed their people. International organizations can play an important role in ensuring that nations share their wealth and resources with those that need it. To conclude, hunger continues to haunt millions of people even in the 21st century. Often times this is caused by the inequitable distribution of wealth and resources. Rich countries and rich people can do a lot to ensure that the poor also have access to a basic necessity like food.
Despite the fact that farming methods and yield
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
dramatically
over the last century, millions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
still
do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
to eat. There are social, economical and climatic reasons behind this disturbing phenomenon.

Famine or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
scarcity
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
affects the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
. Whether they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grow
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
or not, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
will ensure that they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
on their platter. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
, unfortunately, lack this purchasing power. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is not made available at concessional rates, they cannot
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
access to it. Most of the time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
any land.
Consequently
, they cannot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grow
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. They
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
prices increase, they cannot have their fill.

The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in climate
also
causes famine. Extreme drought like conditions persist in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
For example
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
parts of Africa it has not rained in years.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living in those regions cannot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grow
their crops. They are dependent on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
grown in other areas and if
that is
not available, then these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
go hungry. Political reasons
also
contribute to this problem.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
refuse to share their water resources with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Often
times this
is caused
by the enmity between these nations. Unfortunately, this practice affects the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
security in those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
that do not have adequate water resources of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
.

In order to solve this problem, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
need to ensure that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is available for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
for free or at concessional rates.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grow
surplus
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
the magnanimity to share their excess with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
that do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
to feed their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. International organizations can play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in ensuring that nations share their wealth and resources with those that need it.

To conclude
, hunger continues to haunt millions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
even in the 21st century.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Often
times this
is caused
by the inequitable distribution of wealth and resources.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can do a lot to ensure that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
also
have access to a basic necessity like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
41Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
To have another language is to possess a second soul.
Charlemagne

IELTS essay In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem? v. 3

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
351 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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