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What is your favorite academic subject and why do you like it? Give details and examples to support your answer. v.1

What is your favorite academic subject and why do you like it? Give details and examples to support your answer. v. 1
One of the most significant current discussions on children is whether parents have more responsibilities to teach children to be useful members or the teacher is enough for them. This essay discusses these ideas and shed some lights on both sides and expands my opinion. In recent years much more information has become available on that role of parents upon children's life that has emphasized on parent's huge impact on a child's future and life. First of all, one argument that makes secure the importance of parent's effect is when babies open their eyes just can see their parents. They grow up with them and learn their fundamental needs, speaking, eating, walking for instance. Many researchers believe that first four years of an infant's lifetime are really important to build her/his future. Actually, they reflect their parents manner and behaviours. However, there is no doubt that the teachers at school have a major influence on students. They teach different topics like mathematics, biology, chemistry and arts to prepare pupils with various ideas for future and make their way easier and help them to understand their interests and talents. Many times teachers can recognise the child's problem and reports it to supervisor to call family for finding a solution. Also, children can rely on their teachers and say something that is difficult to explain to their families. In general, therefore, it seems that the role of a teacher, however, it is not comparable with parents, it cannot be ignored in building a great future for infants. In conclusion, in my idea, we could not deny the tutor's impact on our lifetime, but as I am on belief that parents are much more important, we would be good parents for our kids because we have a heavy duty and responsibility to bring them up perfectly.
One of the most significant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
discussions on children is whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
have more responsibilities to teach children to be useful members or the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
for them. This essay discusses these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
and shed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
lights on both sides and expands my opinion.

In recent years much more information has become available on that role of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
upon children's life that has emphasized on parent's huge impact on a child's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
and life.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, one argument that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
secure the importance of parent's effect is when babies open their eyes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
. They grow up with them and learn their fundamental needs, speaking, eating, walking
for instance
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
researchers believe that
first
four years of an infant's lifetime are
really
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to build her/his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
. Actually, they reflect their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
manner and
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
.

However
, there is no doubt that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
at school have a major influence on students. They teach
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
topics like mathematics, biology, chemistry and arts to prepare pupils with various
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their way easier and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to understand their interests and talents.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
times
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
can
Possible spelling mistake. 'recognise' is British English.
recognise
the child's problem and reports it to supervisor to call family for finding a solution.
Also
, children can rely on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
and say something
that is
difficult to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
to their families.
In general
,
therefore
, it seems that the role of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
,
however
, it is not comparable with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, it cannot be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
in building a great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
for infants.

In conclusion
, in my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
, we could not deny the tutor's impact on our lifetime,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
as I am on belief that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are much more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
, we would be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
for our kids
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we have a heavy duty and responsibility to bring them up
perfectly
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay What is your favorite academic subject and why do you like it? Give details and examples to support your answer. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
303 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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