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Individuals can do nothing to change society. Any new developments can only be brought about by governments and large institutions. How far do you agree or disagree? v.3

Individuals can do nothing to change society. Any new developments can only be brought about by governments and large institutions. How far v. 3
In this contemporary era, it is generally acknowledged that a progress of a nation is based from the new contributions brought about change by the government or large institutions and not individuals. This essay disagrees and believes that change and development begins from a single entity. It is an indisputable fact that an individual plays a pivotal role in allowing society to function. This is because, organizations are made up of individuals brought together to enable the group to achieve its mission. As a result, these organizations can make an enormous change because these entities have established a strong bond and shares the same goals towards the same advocacy. For example, Non-profit organizations are group of people dedicated in advocating for a particular point of view and making some changes to contribute to the society without gaining any profit. Moreover, my former colleague who established his own youth movement and platform for rural community development catering to more than 5 million youths in the Philippines to provide free education and health. However, it could also lead to the contrary of the good, for instance, the uprising of Arab springs brought together to revolutionized the rule of the local governments in the Middle Eastern regions. On the other hand, government and large institutions acts for the society as a whole and often times effective in achieving success. Due to the reason that, they have a leader who plans and delegates work efficiently and respectively to an individual. In addition, Political power and substantial resources are the key factors in the improvements of a nation. For instance, the dictatorship of our late president of the Philippines, Ferdinand Marcos. He was an authoritarian who made an exponential growth to the economy through economic development strategies. As well as, large institutions like NASA who incessantly yields research because they are being funded with tremendous subsidies from the government. In my opinion, I strongly agree that individuals can bring about tremendous change in the society. For without these entities, no government or even large institutions can be formed.
In this contemporary era, it is
generally
acknowledged that
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "progress".
a progress
of a nation
is based
from the new contributions brought about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
institutions and not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
. This essay disagrees and believes that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
and development
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begins
from a single entity.

It is an indisputable fact that an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
plays a pivotal role in allowing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
to function. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, organizations
are made
up of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
brought together to enable the group to achieve its mission.
As a result
, these organizations can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
an enormous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these entities have established a strong bond and shares the same goals towards the same advocacy.
For example
, Non-profit organizations are group of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
dedicated in advocating for a particular point of view and making
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
to contribute to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
without gaining any profit.
Moreover
, my former colleague
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
established his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
youth movement and platform for rural community development catering to more than 5 million youths in the Philippines to provide free education and health.
However
, it could
also
lead to the contrary of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
,
for instance
, the uprising of Arab springs brought together
Did you mean "to revolutionize"?
to revolutionized
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
of the local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
in the Middle Eastern regions.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
institutions acts for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
as a whole and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
times effective in achieving success. Due to the reason that, they have a leader
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
plans and delegates work
efficiently
and
respectively
to an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
.
In addition
, Political power and substantial resources are the key factors in the improvements of a nation.
For instance
, the dictatorship of our late president of the Philippines, Ferdinand Marcos. He was an authoritarian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
made an exponential growth to the economy through economic development strategies.
As well
as,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
institutions like NASA
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
incessantly
yields research
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are
being funded
with tremendous subsidies from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.

In my opinion, I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
can bring about tremendous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. For without these entities, no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
or even
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
institutions can
be formed
.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Individuals can do nothing to change society. Any new developments can only be brought about by governments and large institutions. How far v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
343 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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