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Individuals can do nothing to change society. New developments can be only brought about by governments and large institutions. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

Individuals can do nothing to change society. New developments can be only brought about by governments and large institutions. v. 1
Opinions differ on whether individuals have the same power to influence societies when compared to governments and large institutions. in my opinion, the influences from the latter are by far more significant than that from the individuals owing to financial consideration and their authorities. In order to initiate changes in a society, money plays a pivotal role in supporting the progress as well as motivating the participants. With the strong financial foundations, governments and large institutions can invest in various aspects, such as building infrastructures, supporting scientific researches and paying the manpower. These financial inputs help tremendously in initiating and sustaining a change or a development. Monetary contributions are also helpful in bringing positive messages in a society. For example, students are more keen in their academic to strive for scholarships given by government and large institutions. This creates a positive learning atmosphere among pupils. The authorities and social influences from governments and large corporations also bring changes to larger scales. By improving regulations and laws, governments can affect the public behaviors on a national level through civil obligation. Large corporations can influence the societies too by being a leading role in their industries. For instance, fair trading policies and 5-day working basis are the successful examples of raising public awareness on certain social issues. Such dramatic changes and attention can never be leaded by individuals which are more scattered. In conclusion, it is undoubtedly that individuals participation so are crucial to social changes. However, governments and large institutions have greater potential in provoking changes more significantly and effectively with the help of their financial supports and authorities.
Opinions differ on whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
have the same power to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
influence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
societies
when compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
institutions.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
my opinion, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
influences
from the latter are by far more significant than that from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
owing to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
consideration and their authorities.

In order to initiate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
, money plays a pivotal role in supporting the progress
as well
as motivating the participants. With the strong
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
foundations,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
institutions can invest in various aspects, such as building infrastructures, supporting scientific researches and paying the manpower. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
inputs
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
tremendously
in initiating and sustaining a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
or a development. Monetary contributions are
also
helpful in bringing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
messages in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
For example
, students are more keen in their academic to strive for scholarships
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
institutions. This creates a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
learning atmosphere among pupils.

The authorities and social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
influences
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
corporations
also
bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
to larger scales. By improving regulations and laws,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
can affect the public behaviors on a national level through civil obligation.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Large
corporations can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
influence
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
societies
too by being a leading role in their industries.
For instance
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
trading policies and 5-day working basis are the successful examples of raising public awareness on certain social issues. Such dramatic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
and attention can never
be leaded
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
which are more scattered.

In conclusion
, it is
undoubtedly
that
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "individuals'" or "individual's"?
individuals
participation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
are crucial to social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
institutions have greater potential in provoking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
more
significantly
and
effectively
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
supports and authorities.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
34Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
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Munia Khan

IELTS essay Individuals can do nothing to change society. New developments can be only brought about by governments and large institutions. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
268 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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