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Young people are much more aware of and concerned about issues like the environment, poverty, and animal welfare than previous generations. What is your opinion? v.4

Young people are much more aware of and concerned about issues like the environment, poverty, and animal welfare than previous generations. What is your opinion? v. 4
Some people are of the opinion that the youth are more aware of and concerned about global issues such as the environment, poverty and animal welfare than older people. Personally, I completely agree with this point of view. First of all, thanks to the modern technology, young people are able to access to any information more easily than their parents as most likely they did not have such in their youth. Also the Internet gives opportunity to follow the current events like natural disasters, epidemics and economic crises in all over the world in any time. For example, you can easily to find out the latest news about Africa’s developments in terms of mass starvation and poor conditions by just typing it in Google or another search engine. Thus, young people have a chance to evaluate all effects of certain matters by themselves. Furthermore, education takes a great deal of effort to encourage students to be aware of the current issues that affect our planet and its resources. For example, pupils learn such subjects like biology, geography and other at school. And if biology familiarizes with the nature and environment including the protection of certain animals, geography provides the basic knowledge about different countries and not only including rich and poor. In addition, at present the majority of universities have such mandatory disciplines like ecology and life security basics for the first year students. Such academic approach contributes the extension of students’ knowledge in various fields. In conclusion, nowadays young generation have more awareness and better understanding about global issues than older one. Therefore, they should take all necessary actions to preserve our planet.
Some
people
are of the opinion that the youth are more aware of and concerned about global issues such as the environment, poverty and animal welfare than older
people
.
Personally
, I completely
agree
with this point of view.

First of all
, thanks to the modern technology, young
people
are able to access to any information more
easily
than their parents as most likely they did not have such in their youth.
Also
the Internet gives opportunity to follow the
current
events
like natural disasters, epidemics and economic crises in all over the world in any time.
For example
, you can
easily
to find out the latest news about Africa’s developments in terms of mass starvation and poor conditions by
just
typing it in Google or another search engine.
Thus
, young
people
have a chance to evaluate all effects of certain matters by themselves.

Furthermore
, education takes a great deal of effort to encourage students to be aware of the
current
issues that affect our planet and its resources.
For example
, pupils learn such subjects like biology, geography and other at school. And if biology familiarizes with the nature and environment including the protection of certain animals, geography provides the basic knowledge about
different
countries and not
only
including rich and poor.
In addition
, at present the majority of universities have such mandatory disciplines like ecology and life security basics for the
first
year students. Such academic approach contributes the extension of students’ knowledge in various fields.

In conclusion
, nowadays young generation have more awareness and better understanding about global issues than older one.
Therefore
, they should take all necessary actions to preserve our planet.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Young people are much more aware of and concerned about issues like the environment, poverty, and animal welfare than previous generations. What is your opinion? v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
274 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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