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Earlier technological developments brought more benefits and changed the lives of ordinary people more than recent developments ever will. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

Earlier technological developments brought more benefits and changed the lives of ordinary people more than recent developments ever will. v. 1
Developments in technology over many years have dramatically changed the world that we live in, and some people think that earlier advances in technology have had a greater impact on and been more beneficial to the lives of ordinary people than more recent changes. However, I partially agree with this as the advantages and influences on people’s lives actually depends on the particular area of technology. There is no doubt that some earlier advances in technology have been very influential, such as those related to technology around the home. Devices such as washing machines, fridges and freezers, central heating, microwaves and televisions were invented many years ago, and now nearly every household has all or some of these in their home, making life much easier. Though they have been improved over time, they still carry out much the same purpose as when they were first invented. Another example is that of medicine. Despite the fact that there have been ground-breaking recent medical developments, such as that connected to research into genes and stem cells, the benefits to the average person are still many years away. The most influential impacts on health have been earlier technological developments of the past, which remain today. These are the ability to treat so many injuries and diseases and carry out organ transplants in hospitals. It is these that have benefits on so many lives and will for decades to come. However, if we look at some more recent developments, they have had a much greater influence than in the past. For instance, there is the phone, which was a significant development when invented helping many people. However, although invented many years ago, technological developments over the last few decades have enabled the phone to now be mobile and connected to the internet. This has had incredible impacts on the way people Iive their lives with people using phones for so many everyday activities and for connecting around the world. In conclusion, I would argue that although some older technological developments are important, some new ones are too. The impacts on ordinary people’s lives therefore depends on the type of technology in question.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Developments
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
over
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years have
dramatically
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
the world that we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that earlier advances in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
have had a greater
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impact
on and been more beneficial to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
of ordinary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
than more recent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
.
However
, I
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this as the advantages and influences on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
actually depends on the particular area of technology.

There is no doubt that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
earlier advances in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
have been
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
influential, such as those related to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
around the home. Devices such as washing machines, fridges and freezers, central heating, microwaves and televisions
were invented
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years ago, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
nearly
every household has all or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of these in their home, making life much easier. Though they have been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
over time, they
still
carry out much the same purpose as when they were
first
invented.

Another example is that of medicine. Despite the fact that there have
been ground
-breaking recent medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developments
, such as that connected to research into genes and stem cells, the benefits to the average person are
still
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years away. The most influential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impacts
on health have been earlier technological
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developments
of the past, which remain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
. These are the ability to treat
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
injuries and diseases and carry out organ transplants in hospitals. It is these that have benefits on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
and will for decades to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
.

However
, if we look at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
more recent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developments
, they have had a much greater influence than in the past.
For instance
, there is the phone, which was a significant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
when invented helping
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
However
, although invented
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years ago, technological
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developments
over the last few decades have enabled the phone to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
be mobile and connected to the internet. This has had incredible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impacts
on the way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Possible spelling mistake found.
Iive
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
using phones for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
everyday activities and for connecting around the world.

In conclusion
, I would argue that although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
older technological
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developments
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
new ones are too. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impacts
on ordinary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
therefore
depends on the type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
in question.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
29Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Earlier technological developments brought more benefits and changed the lives of ordinary people more than recent developments ever will. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
358 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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