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Many environmental issues are the responsibility of rich nation not of poor nation Do you agree with this v.2

Many environmental issues are the responsibility of rich nation not of poor nation Do you agree with this v. 2
It is said that only wealthy nations take liability for global environmental problems. From my perspective, I disagree with this statement since we all live on the same planet and then have to mutually deal with this issues. There are several compelling reasons why wealthy countries should account for this issues. Firstly, since these nations were the first ones to industrialize, this could bring about some adverse impacts in our ecosystem. By cooperating some manufacturing factories, this process of industrialization released a sheer volume of carbon dioxide into the atmosphere leading to air pollutions. Secondly, throughout exploiting the natural resources, it allowed these countries to become richer and more developed. Therefore, they should lead the way in substantially contributing to the environmental protection with their considerable ability and advanced technologies. On the other hand, while numerous countries with their wealth are trying to cope with this issues, it will not matter if the developing countries are still harming our green shelter. As developing countries mean getting more economically developed these days than rich nations doing in the past and the majority of world’s population live in there, the pollution level could remarkably increase as well. Moreover, there is an alarming lack of public awareness towards environmental preservation in some poor nations throughout deforestation and overexploitation for their economic activities, thereby leading to some negative effect on the natural world. It will be meaningless if the most developed countries take action while China, for example, the world’s biggest polluter with over one billion people living in, does not. To conclude, the major environmental problems stem from human activities. Therefore, every single country in the world should give a hand to alleviate this problem.
It
is said
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
take liability for global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
problems. From my perspective, I disagree with this statement since we all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
on the same planet and then
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
mutually
deal with
Did you mean "these"?
this
issues.

There are several compelling reasons why wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
should account for
Did you mean "these"?
this
issues.
Firstly
, since these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
were the
first
ones to industrialize, this could bring about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
adverse impacts in our ecosystem. By cooperating
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
manufacturing factories, this process of industrialization released a sheer volume of carbon dioxide into the atmosphere leading to air pollutions.
Secondly
, throughout exploiting the natural resources, it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to become richer and more developed.
Therefore
, they should lead the way in
substantially
contributing to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
protection with their considerable ability and advanced technologies.

On the other hand
, while numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
with their wealth are trying to cope with
Did you mean "these"?
this
issues, it will not matter if the developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are
still
harming our green shelter. As developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
mean getting more
economically
developed these days than rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
doing in the past and the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world’s
population
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in there, the pollution level could
remarkably
increase
as well
.
Moreover
, there is an alarming lack of public awareness towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
preservation in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
throughout deforestation and overexploitation for their economic activities, thereby leading to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect on the natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
. It will be meaningless if the most developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
take action while China,
for example
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world’s
biggest polluter with over one billion
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
living in, does not.

To conclude
, the major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
problems stem from human activities.
Therefore
, every single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
should give a hand to alleviate this problem.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Many environmental issues are the responsibility of rich nation not of poor nation Do you agree with this v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
282 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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