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Increasingly, the western world has been outsourcing its labour-related jobs to cheaper alternatives available in less-developed countries. Although this creates opportunities for people in poorer nations, it is a policy that is criticized by many in the west. v.1

Increasingly, the western world has been outsourcing its labour-related jobs to cheaper alternatives available in less-developed countries. Although this creates opportunities for people in poorer nations, it is a policy that is criticized by many in the west. v. 1
Outsourcing is one of the latest trends followed by many countries around the world. Western nations namely, outsource their labour related jobs to developing countries. This has been criticised by many people across the globe. But I believe this is very beneficial for both the countries involved in this trade. It is because of the fact that it will provide an opportunity for the less developed nations and will also help the developed countries in its growth by decreasing its workload. Developing countries get benefits from the work they get from outside. It not only increases the per capita income of the nation but also brings foreign investment in the country which is one of the main sources for country's economic growth. For example, African countries like Kenya, Uganda can improve their financial growth if they get any work from developed nations like USA, UK etc. This is only possible when outsourcing is encouraged by strong powers of the world. Also, Developed countries will get benefits from this as well. These nations will be outsourcing their labour and talent related jobs to other countries and will get enough time and manpower for other important work. The USA, for instance, gives their low-level software work to companies in developing nations but uses its best resources in more promising tasks. Thus this process is beneficial for the people of the both of these countries outsourcing play an important role. Looking at the above points, we can come to a conclusion that outsourcing of jobs to underdeveloped countries is beneficial for both the nations in terms of finance and growth. So, this practice must be encouraged by all the countries around the world.
Outsourcing is one of the latest trends followed by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
around the world. Western
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
namely
, outsource their
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
related jobs to developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. This has been
Possible spelling mistake. 'criticised' is British English.
criticised
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
across the globe.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
I believe this is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
beneficial for both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
involved in this trade. It is
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "because".
because of the fact that
it will provide an opportunity for the less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
and will
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
by decreasing its workload.

Developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
benefits from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
from outside. It not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
increases the per capita income of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
brings foreign investment in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
which is one of the main sources for country's economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
.
For example
, African
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
like Kenya, Uganda can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
A determiner is probably missing here: "like the USA".
like USA
, UK etc. This is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
possible when outsourcing
is encouraged
by strong powers of the world.

Also
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
benefits from this
as well
. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
will be outsourcing their
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
and talent related jobs to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time and manpower for other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. The USA,
for instance
, gives their low-level software
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
in developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
its best resources in more promising tasks.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
this process is beneficial for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of the both of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
outsourcing play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role.

Looking at the above points, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to a conclusion that outsourcing of jobs to underdeveloped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
is beneficial for both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
in terms of finance and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, this practice
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be encouraged
by all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
around the world.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
31Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Increasingly, the western world has been outsourcing its labour-related jobs to cheaper alternatives available in less-developed countries. Although this creates opportunities for people in poorer nations, it is a policy that is criticized by many in the west. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
280 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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