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Improvements in health, education, and trade are essential for the development of poorer nations. However, the governments of richer nations should take more responsibility for helping the poorer nations in such areas. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? v.2

Improvements in health, education, and trade are essential for the development of poorer nations. However, the governments of richer nations should take more responsibility for helping the poorer nations in such areas. with this opinion? v. 2
In recent decades, the gap between affluent versus impoverished nations has been widened than before. It is, therefore, often argued that since those Third World countries have huge challenges regarding ensuring physical fitness, schooling and growth in business, they should be given assistance by successful nations. However, I agree, to a large extent, economists who consider this viewpoint as a detrimental development. We must acknowledge the fact that affluent countries can boost the growth of backward ones in various ways. They may share useful strategies and insights to teach them how to build an efficient structure for decreasing mortality, increasing health consciousness, flourish education standard and GDP growth. Undoubtedly, it would then be a lot easier for underdeveloped nations to achieve higher goals by following the footsteps of developed ones. Nevertheless, it cannot be denied that there are severe downsides of this strategy. First and foremost, foreign help creates more dependency. Development specialists insist that various development assistances, such as foreign aid, charity and subsidies, often contain conditions as well as high-interest rates. Consequently, whenever any nation is given monetary allowances, they are likely to fall on the 'cycle of poverty' of being compelled to repay those loans. In addition, the government's help-seeking mentality often do a lot more harm than we imagine. This is because the authorities then try to sit on idle and procrastinate on finishing the vital tasks; for instance, enhancing budget on crucial sectors; employing expert health professionals and pedagogy experts, and consulting the top-performer business associates. Clearly, this cannot be done by any outer influence, except internal powers-that-be. Finally, it is the respective government bodies who know the strengths and weaknesses of that country. Therefore, in order to improve the conditions significantly, they have to find out effective solutions to utilize their own manpower, natural resources and potentials. In conclusion, it seems that it is surely wrong to argue simplistically that foreign assistance would lead to less developed countries into the developed nations. Despite the fact that it has some useful outcomes, it may bring catastrophic consequences for the needy ones. I would urge the Ministers to focus on the ways to get rid of their country of the looming crisis, rather than begging help. They should understand that becoming a prosperous-educated-healthy citizen is on the way only if they are the in-charge on their destiny.
In recent decades, the gap between affluent versus impoverished
nations
has
been widened
than
before
. It is,
therefore
,
often
argued that since those Third World
countries
have huge challenges regarding ensuring physical fitness, schooling and growth in business, they should be
given
assistance by successful
nations
.
However
, I
agree
, to a large extent, economists who consider this viewpoint as a detrimental development.

We
must
acknowledge the fact that affluent
countries
can boost the growth of backward
ones
in various ways. They may share useful strategies and insights to teach them how to build an efficient structure for decreasing mortality, increasing health consciousness, flourish education standard and GDP growth.
Undoubtedly
, it would then be a lot easier for underdeveloped
nations
to achieve higher goals by following the footsteps of developed ones.

Nevertheless
, it cannot
be denied
that there are severe downsides of this strategy.
First
and foremost, foreign
help
creates more dependency. Development specialists insist that various development
assistances
, such as foreign aid, charity and subsidies,
often
contain conditions
as well
as high-interest rates.
Consequently
, whenever any
nation
is
given
monetary allowances, they are likely to fall on the 'cycle of poverty' of
being compelled
to repay those loans.

In addition
, the
government
's
help
-seeking mentality
often
do a lot more harm than we imagine. This is
because
the authorities then try to sit on idle and procrastinate on finishing the vital tasks;
for instance
, enhancing budget on crucial sectors; employing expert health professionals and pedagogy experts, and consulting the top-performer business associates.
Clearly
, this cannot
be done
by any outer influence, except internal powers-that-be.
Finally
, it is the respective
government
bodies who know the strengths and weaknesses of that
country
.
Therefore
, in order to
improve
the conditions
significantly
, they
have to
find out effective solutions to utilize their
own
manpower, natural resources and potentials.

In conclusion
, it seems that it is
surely
wrong
to argue
simplistically
that foreign assistance would lead to less developed
countries
into the developed
nations
. Despite the fact that it has
some
useful outcomes, it may bring catastrophic consequences for the needy
ones
. I would urge the Ministers to focus on the ways to
get
rid of their
country
of the looming crisis,
rather
than begging
help
. They should understand that becoming a prosperous-educated-healthy citizen is on the way
only
if they are the in-charge on their destiny.
18Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Learn a language, and you’ll avoid a war.
Arab Proverb

IELTS essay Improvements in health, education, and trade are essential for the development of poorer nations. However, the governments of richer nations should take more responsibility for helping the poorer nations in such areas. with this opinion? v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
391 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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