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In your country, is there more need for land to be left in its naturalcondition or is there more need for land to be developed for housing andindustry? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.2

In your country, is there more need for land to be left in its naturalcondition or is there more need for land to be developed for housing andindustry? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 2
Generally speaking, construction of the counrty is playing a very crucial part in our life. It is important because it increases the appreciation to that counrty. In my opinion I believe that we need more land to be built with houses and industry for the two following essential reasons. On of the reasons is that building an industry will improve the financial situation of the land. In other words, constructing factories, companies and shops would provide a great job opportunities for the native individuals. Which in turn will uplift the living standards of the people. A vivid example can be given to illustrate what alluded above. In 2006, Baghdad suffered from many damages economically due to the war. The government started to build the land that has disrupted with factories to refine the oil. The efforts and the investment that regin lost during the war, returned to the counrty multi fold. One argument put forward is that, these factories brought a lot of noise and pollution to the community, It is still convincing that the benefits are far outweigh the drawbacks. That’s why it is necessary to make use of these lands by building it. The other reason is that the nation is suffered from a great weather disturbance last few years, which cause a lot of damage to people’s houses. To be more precise, the thunderstorm and the dust storm has a negative impact on people’s life, that lead people to flee their homes and live in tents in the border of another countries. For instance, the borders between Iraq and Turkey are full of families left their homes because of the damages caused by the heavy rains fell into the regin two years ago. A study showed that those people are suffering from many diseases and providing people with a place to live in would help them to feel secured and get rid of many of these illnesses. It is clear that exploit these free land is substantial. By the way of conclusion, I am of the opinion that in such cases we have to reach the balance in our life In my perspective, I believe that for the causes mentioned above.
Generally
speaking, construction of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
counrty
is playing a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
crucial part in our life. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it increases the appreciation to that
Possible spelling mistake found.
counrty
. In my opinion I believe that we need more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
land
to
be built
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
and industry for the two following essential reasons.

On of the reasons is that building an industry will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the financial situation of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
land
.
In other words
, constructing factories,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
and shops would provide a great job opportunities for the native individuals.
“Which” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Which
in turn will uplift the living standards of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. A vivid example can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to illustrate what
Did you mean "eluded"?
alluded
above. In 2006, Baghdad suffered from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
damages
economically
due to the war. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to build the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
land
that has disrupted with factories to refine the oil. The efforts and the investment that
Possible spelling mistake found.
regin
lost during the war, returned to the
Possible spelling mistake found.
counrty
multi fold. One argument put forward is that, these factories brought
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
noise and pollution to the community, It is
still
convincing that the benefits are far outweigh the drawbacks. That’s why it is necessary to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lands
by building it.

The other reason is that the nation
is suffered
from a great weather disturbance last few years, which cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
damage to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
. To be more precise, the thunderstorm and the dust storm has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
life, that lead
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to flee their homes and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in tents in the border of another countries.
For instance
, the borders between Iraq and Turkey are full of families
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
their homes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the damages caused by the heavy rains fell into the
Possible spelling mistake found.
regin
two years ago. A study
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are suffering from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
diseases and providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with a place to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to feel secured and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
rid of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of these illnesses. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that exploit these free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
land
is substantial.

By the way of conclusion, I am of the opinion that in such cases we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
reach the balance in our life In my perspective, I believe that for the causes mentioned above.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
11Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay In your country, is there more need for land to be left in its naturalcondition or is there more need for land to be developed for housing andindustry? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
364 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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