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181. In your country, is there more need for land to be left in its natural condition or is there more need for land to be developed for housing and industry? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.1

181. In your country, is there more need for land to be left in its natural condition or is there more need for land to be developed for housing and industry? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 1
It is believed that the daily lives of mankind have become more stressful these days. There are various reasons that have caused the situation, and the following essay will discuss in details regarding the causes and some of the ways to address the issue. It is true that the daily routines of people's lives are becoming more stressful nowadays, especially for those who live in big cities, such as in New York, Singapore or Jakarta. One of the factors that have caused the stress is the work pressure. Due to the globalisation and the free trade zone, business competition is getting tougher these days and it has increased the workload of many employees. Besides that, density and traffic have also contributed to the problem as well. Many people have to commute to work at the earliest time of the day and come home late at night to avoid traffic. As a consequence, many of these people are exhausted, frustrated and burn out with their daily lives. There are several things that governments could do to solve the issue. Firstly, as the world economic develop, governments should strictly monitor and review at employers' treatment to their labours. Governments must ensure that companies have been employing their labours at the proportionate working hours to reduce the stress level and to avoid any fatal work accidents. Secondly, governments should also expand their long-term development plan, by developing new areas. By expanding new areas, it is hoped that some of the city people will move to new areas, and it will reduce the density and traffic issues which have caused stress. Thirdly, governments should also add more public facilities, such as playgrounds, parks and sports fields for their residents. It is a fact that doing some recreational and sports activities could reduce the stress level. In conclusion, many experts believe that the day to day lives of people have become more stressful. There are some factors which have caused the problems such as the tight business competition, density and traffic problems. However, there are some steps that governments could do to reduce the stress level, and some of them would be by monitoring the companies, expanding new areas and provide more recreational facilities for the public.
It
is believed
that the daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
of mankind have become more stressful these days. There are various reasons that have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
caused
the situation, and the following essay will discuss in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
regarding the causes and
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
ways to address the issue.

It is true that the daily routines of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
are becoming more stressful nowadays,
especially
for those who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
cities, such as in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
New
York, Singapore or Jakarta. One of the factors that have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
caused
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
is the work pressure. Due to the
Possible spelling mistake. 'globalisation' is British English.
globalisation
and the free trade zone, business competition is getting tougher these days and it has increased the workload of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
employees.
Besides
that, density and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
have
also
contributed to the problem
as well
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
commute to work at the earliest time of the day and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
home late at night to avoid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
. As a consequence,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are exhausted
, frustrated and burn out with their daily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

There are several things that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
could do to solve the issue.
Firstly
, as the world economic develop,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should
strictly
monitor and review at employers' treatment to their
Possible spelling mistake. 'labours' is British English.
labours
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Governments
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
ensure that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
have been employing their
Possible spelling mistake. 'labours' is British English.
labours
at the proportionate working hours to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
level and to avoid any fatal work accidents.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should
also
expand their long-term development plan, by developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
. By expanding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
, it
is hoped
that
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
city
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
, and it will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduce
the density and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
issues which have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
caused
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
.
Thirdly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
more public facilities, such as playgrounds, parks and sports fields for their residents. It is a fact that doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
recreational and sports activities could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
level.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
experts believe that the
It appears that two hyphens are missing.
day to day
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have become more stressful. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
factors which have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
caused
the problems such as the tight business competition, density and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
problems.
However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
steps that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
could do to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
level, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them would be by monitoring the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
, expanding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
and provide more recreational facilities for the public.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
A man who knows two languages is worth two men.
French Proverb

IELTS essay 181. In your country, is there more need for land to be left in its natural condition or is there more need for land to be developed for housing and industry? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
372 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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