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In your country, is there more need for land to be left in its natural condition or is there more need for land to be developed for housing and industry? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.2

In your country, is there more need for land to be left in its natural condition or is there more need for land to be developed for housing and industry? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 2
Many people argue that public libraries are no longer necessary because of the development of technology. While I agree that online libraries bring various benefits for people, I would believe that it is still worth spending money on maintaining physical libraries. One the one hand, there are two main advantages of online sources. Firstly, in the technology era, it is definitely easy and convenient for people to acquire information online whenever and wherever they want without visiting traditional libraries. This is, therefore, beneficial to those who have a busy schedule and cannot attend these places during the operating hours. Secondly, the storage of information in online sources is far greater than the public libraries. This facilitates the research needs of individual in the different aspects. One the other hand, I would argue that those online sources can never replace public libraries’ functions. Many senior people are incapable of using technology, and thus they find it quite difficult in accessing online libraries. As a result, physical libraries are still their first choice to acquire information. Furthermore, traditional libraries can be considered a reliable source of information, compared to the online ones. The reason is that these day, information can be easily posted online without any assessment or categorize, while the sources in public libraries are frequently and carefully selected and categorized by library staff members. In conclusion, despite the obvious advantages of online sources of information, in my opinion, there are sufficient grounds to reject the view that maintaining physical libraries is unnecessary.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
libraries are no longer necessary
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the development of technology. While I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
libraries bring various benefits for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, I would believe that it is
still
worth spending money on maintaining physical libraries.

Did you mean "on"?
One
the one hand, there are two main advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
.
Firstly
, in the technology era, it is definitely easy and convenient for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to acquire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
whenever and wherever they want without visiting traditional libraries. This is,
therefore
, beneficial to those who have a busy schedule and cannot attend these places during the operating hours.
Secondly
, the storage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
is far greater than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
libraries. This facilitates the research needs of individual in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
aspects.

Did you mean "on"?
One
the other hand, I would argue that those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
can never replace
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
libraries’ functions.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
senior
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are incapable of using technology, and
thus
they find it quite difficult in accessing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
libraries.
As a result
, physical libraries are
still
their
first
choice to acquire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
.
Furthermore
, traditional libraries can
be considered
a reliable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
source
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
, compared to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
ones. The reason is that
Did you mean "this day" or "these days"?
these day
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
can be
easily
posted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
without any assessment or categorize, while the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
libraries are
frequently
and
carefully
selected and categorized by library staff members.

In conclusion
, despite the obvious advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
, in my opinion, there are sufficient grounds to reject the view that maintaining physical libraries is unnecessary.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay In your country, is there more need for land to be left in its natural condition or is there more need for land to be developed for housing and industry? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
252 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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