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In today's world, in order to become a successful person, qualities required cannot be taught at universities and other academic institutions? To what extent do you agree or disagree. v.2

In today's world, in order to become a successful person, qualities required cannot be taught at universities and other academic institutions? v. 2
These days, everyone wants to be a success story. Though colleges and universities award qualifications that help people reach a position in life, they don' t guarantee ultimate success in their careers. I totally agree to the notion of essay. A college or a university award degrees and certificates that can only help an individual getting a job and start a business but do not him climb the corporate ladder. In order to occupy a head position, one must posses some qualities that universities can not teach. . For example, although thousands of people are recruited every year irrespective of region and organization, only few of them get to top most positions. In order to become a successful person and to get to highest position in career, qualities such as perseverance and determinations are required. These traits are not taught at educational institutions but are learned through experiencing hardships and adverseries in life. Such people donot lose composure no matter how hard the circumstances are. For example Bill Gates, CEO and owner of Apple, electronic gadgets manufacturing company, was son of a farmer. He describes in his autobiography that he didn' t had good chance at formal education but with determination and persistence, he made to the position he is at. Today, he is qouted as the success icon through out the world. All of this being said, in conclusion, it is true that transcripts that universities and other educational institutions offer help one in securing a job or starting a business of one' s own but they do not guarantee true success that is reaching the highest position wether it be in an organization or company. That can only be ensured by having certain characteristics-consistency and determination, not taught at these places.
These days, everyone wants to be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
story. Though colleges and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
award qualifications that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
reach a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
position
in life, they
Possible spelling mistake found.
don&
#039; t guarantee ultimate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
in their careers. I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to the notion of essay.

A college or a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
award degrees and certificates that can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
an individual getting a job and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
a business
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
do not him climb the corporate ladder. In order to occupy a head
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
position
, one
The word 'posses' is a noun or an adjective. A verb is missing or misspelled, or maybe a comma is missing.
must posses
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
qualities that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
can not teach.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
For example
, although thousands of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are recruited
every year irrespective of region and organization,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
few of them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to top most positions.

In order to become a successful person and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to
A determiner is probably missing here: "the highest".
highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
position
in career, qualities such as perseverance and determinations
are required
. These traits are not taught at educational institutions
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
are learned
through experiencing hardships and
Possible spelling mistake found.
adverseries
in life. Such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
Possible spelling mistake found.
donot
lose composure no matter how
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
the circumstances are.
For example
Bill Gates, CEO and owner of Apple, electronic gadgets manufacturing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
, was son of a farmer. He
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describes
in his autobiography that he
Possible spelling mistake found.
didn&
#039; t had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
chance at formal education
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
with determination and persistence, he made to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
position
he is at.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
, he is
Possible spelling mistake found.
qouted
as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
icon
Did you mean "throughout"?
through out
the world.

All of this
being said
,
in conclusion
, it is true that transcripts that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
and other educational institutions offer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
one in securing a job or starting a business of
Possible spelling mistake found.
one&
#039; s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they do not guarantee true
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
that is
reaching the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
position
Possible spelling mistake found.
wether
it
Did you mean "is"?
be
in an organization or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
. That can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be ensured
by having certain characteristics-consistency and determination, not taught at these places.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Mistakes

IELTS essay In today's world, in order to become a successful person, qualities required cannot be taught at universities and other academic institutions? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
293 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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