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Many people in the community now could buy consumer goods being cheaper. Whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v.2

Many people in the community now could buy consumer goods being cheaper. Whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v. 2
In recent years, there is a common phenomenon that the prices of products have been decreased thanks to the advent of modern technology. A point of debate is whether its advantages have overshadowed the disadvantages or. While there is a strong case for the former view, I am more inclined to the latter. On the one hand, those in favour of cheaper goods may state their reasons as follows. Firstly, the fact that people are able to purchase less expensive items means that they can save a huge amount of money for other basic necessities. For example, they can devote more money to healthcare service or their children’s education. Furthermore, cheaper products will stimulate consumers desire to buy more. As a result, companies will earn more profits and expand, contributing to economic progress of a nation. On the other hand, I would advocate with those who contend that making products cheaper will mislead customers to make a wrong decision on what they need to buy. Along with the capability of purchasing products at low-cost prices, buyers tend to make impulse shopping and thus, waste a great deal of money on useless items. This is often the case during sale seasons or in particularly, Tet holiday in Viet Nam. When suppermarkets are filled with loads of discounted goods which tempt shoppers to buy more beyond their needs. Another drawback would be that this newly-emerged trend will probaly impose an obstacle to manufacturers who make every effort to offer cheap prices even by cutting down on their yearly turnovers. Evenworse, if coroporations fail to meet the public’s demands, there might be a lack of consumer goods corrolating to inflation and other economic problems. In conclusion, although it is undeniable that making products less expensive have tremendous influences on each individual embodied the society, I believe that this development should be taken into consideration as it might exert some detrimental effects.
In recent years, there is a common phenomenon that the prices of
products
have
been decreased
thanks to the advent of modern technology. A point of debate is whether its advantages have overshadowed the disadvantages or. While there is a strong case for the former view, I am more inclined to the latter.

On the one hand, those in
favour
of cheaper
goods
may state their reasons as follows.
Firstly
, the fact that
people
are able to
purchase
less expensive items means that they can save a huge amount of money for other
basic necessities
.
For example
, they can devote more money to healthcare service or their children’s education.
Furthermore
, cheaper
products
will stimulate consumers desire to
buy
more.
As a result
,
companies
will earn more profits and expand, contributing to economic progress of a nation.

On the other hand
, I would advocate with those who contend that making
products
cheaper will mislead customers to
make
a
wrong
decision on what they need to
buy
. Along with the capability of purchasing
products
at low-cost prices, buyers tend to
make
impulse shopping and
thus
, waste a great deal of money on useless items. This is
often
the case during sale seasons or in
particularly
, Tet holiday in
Viet
Nam.
When
suppermarkets
are filled
with loads of discounted
goods
which tempt shoppers to
buy
more beyond their needs. Another drawback would be that this
newly
-emerged trend will
probaly
impose an obstacle to manufacturers who
make
every effort to offer
cheap
prices even by cutting down on their yearly turnovers.
Evenworse
, if
coroporations
fail to
meet
the public’s demands, there might be a lack of consumer
goods
corrolating
to inflation and other economic problems.

In conclusion
, although it is undeniable that making
products
less expensive have tremendous influences on each individual embodied the society, I believe that this development should
be taken
into consideration as it might exert
some
detrimental effects.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people in the community now could buy consumer goods being cheaper. Whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
318 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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