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In today’s competitive world, many families find it necessary for both parents to go out to work. While some say the children in these families benefit from the additional income, others feel they lack support because of their parents’ absence. Discuss both of these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.1

In today’s competitive world, many families find it necessary for both parents to go out to work. While some say the children in these families benefit from the additional income, others feel they lack support because of their parents’ absence. v. 1
Nowadays, many families have to balance the need for additional income with the necessity of providing a secure, comforting environment for their children. I believe that the latter is more important. This essay will discuss both points of view. To have sufficient funds to raise a child, often the only option in today’s tough economic climate is for both parents to work, either in a part-time or full-time capacity. Not only does this provide money for the day-to-day essentials but it also allows the family to live in a neighbourhood where the best schools are situated. The result of this is that a solution has to be found for when children finish school before their parents arrive home. After-school clubs are plentiful; other options include family members looking after the children either voluntarily or on a paid basis, often at a reduced rate. A pupil at primary school needs the comforting reassurance of somebody at home or at the school gate when he or she finishes the school day. Whether it is to tell that person about a good mark for homework or to discuss any problems, the mere presence of another human being provides invaluable support. So-called latchkey youngsters often mix with others in the same position and this can lead to undesirable consequences such as involvement in crime, drugs or alcohol. Help with homework as well as providing food and drink are other advantages. In conclusion, although extra income is always welcome, I believe that the positive aspects of the support of one or more parents far outweigh any monetary gain.
Nowadays,
many
families
have to
balance the need for additional income with the necessity of providing a secure, comforting environment for their children. I believe that the latter is more
important
. This essay will discuss both points of view.

To have sufficient funds to raise a child,
often
the
only
option in
today
’s tough economic climate is for both parents to work, either in a part-time or full-time capacity. Not
only
does this provide money for the day-to-day essentials
but
it
also
allows
the family to
live
in a
neighbourhood
where the best
schools
are situated
. The result of this is that a solution
has to
be found
for when children finish
school
before
their parents arrive home. After-school clubs are plentiful; other options include family members looking after the children either
voluntarily
or on a paid basis,
often
at a
reduced
rate.

A pupil at primary
school
needs the comforting reassurance of somebody at home or at the
school
gate when he or she finishes the
school
day. Whether it is to
tell
that person about a
good
mark for homework or to discuss any problems, the mere presence of another human being provides invaluable support.
So
-called latchkey youngsters
often
mix with others in the same position and this can lead to undesirable consequences such as involvement in crime, drugs or alcohol.
Help
with homework
as well
as providing food and drink are other advantages.

In conclusion
, although extra income is always welcome, I believe that the
positive
aspects of the support of one or more parents far outweigh any monetary gain.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay In today’s competitive world, many families find it necessary for both parents to go out to work. While some say the children in these families benefit from the additional income, others feel they lack support because of their parents’ absence. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
263 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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