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In today’s competitive world, many families find it necessary for both parents to go out to work. While some say the children in these families benefit from the additional income, others feel they lack support because of their parents’ absence. Discuss both of these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.5

In today’s competitive world, many families find it necessary for both parents to go out to work. While some say the children in these families benefit from the additional income, others feel they lack support because of their parents’ absence. v. 5
Nowadays, both a husband and a wife have to be employed to provide sufficient income for them and their children. While some people argue that this is inevitable, others believe that it harms the development of their offspring. I believe that the latter is true. This essay will discuss both points of view. It is not only desirable, but also often compulsory for both parents to work in today’s difficult economic climate. Despite the potential problems for the children, employment, either part-time or full-time, is the only solution to have enough funds to raise a child. For example, a family needs to live in an expensive neighbourhood to be able to send a child to one of the best schools. However, the result of this is that a solution has to be found for when children arrive home before their parents. After-school clubs are plentiful; other options include family members looking after the children either voluntarily or on a paid basis, often at a reduced rate. Either the husband or wife may also work overtime, thus providing even more money. The support of at least one parent being at home at the end of the day is a comforting reassurance for a pupil. For instance, telling a person about a good mark for homework or discussing any problems makes the youngster feel good and strengthens the relationship. Offspring appreciate someone who can provide food and drink. Parents who leave home early in the morning and who do not return until late evening risk creating so-called latchkey youngsters: those who mix with others in the same position leading to undesirable consequences such as involvement in crime, drugs or alcohol. Help with homework as well as providing food and drink are other advantages. In conclusion, although extra income is always welcome, I believe that the positive aspects of the support of one or more parents far outweigh any monetary gain. Even though a reduced income results from a parent not working, the emotional well-being of a child undoubtedly increases.
Nowadays, both a husband and a wife
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be employed
to provide sufficient income for them and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that this is inevitable, others believe that it harms the development of their offspring. I believe that the latter is true. This essay will discuss both points of view.

It is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
desirable,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
compulsory for both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to work in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s difficult economic climate. Despite the potential problems for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, employment, either part-time or full-time, is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
solution to have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
funds to raise a child.
For example
, a family needs to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in an expensive
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbourhood' is British English.
neighbourhood
to be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
a child to one of the best schools.
However
, the result of this is that a solution
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be found
for when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
arrive home
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
. After-school clubs are plentiful;
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
options include family members looking after the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
either
voluntarily
or on a paid basis,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
at a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
rate. Either the husband or wife may
also
work overtime,
thus
providing even more money.

The support of at least one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
being at home at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the day is a comforting reassurance for a pupil.
For instance
, telling a person about a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
mark for homework or discussing any problems
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the youngster feel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and strengthens the relationship. Offspring appreciate someone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
can provide food and drink.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
home early in the morning and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
do not return until late evening
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
creating
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
-called latchkey youngsters: those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
mix with others in the same position leading to undesirable consequences such as involvement in crime, drugs or alcohol.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Help
with homework
as well
as providing food and drink are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
advantages.

In conclusion
, although extra income is always welcome, I believe that the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aspects of the support of one or more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
far outweigh any monetary gain.
Even though
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
income results from a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
not working, the emotional well-being of a child
undoubtedly
increases.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay In today’s competitive world, many families find it necessary for both parents to go out to work. While some say the children in these families benefit from the additional income, others feel they lack support because of their parents’ absence. v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
337 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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