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In today’s competitive world, many families find it necessary for both parents go out to work. While some say the children in these families benefit from the additional income, others feel they lack support because of their parents’ absence. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.3

In today’s competitive world, many families find it necessary for both parents go out to work. While some say the children in these families benefit from the additional income, others feel they lack support because of their parents’ absence. v. 3
Nowadays, many families have a dual sources of their salary. There is a widespread worry that it will only lead to a myriad of concerns in both's life. However, I do not entirely accept that and I will explain why in this essay. Therefore, There are a number of arguments in favour of my stance. The most preponderant sole is that children will gain much and the income that parent's hard earned, will worth for their better living. Another possibility would be the wide range of advantages it offers, not only can particularly benefit more when it comes to being effective, but they can also enhance the productivity and quality of their lives with much ease and efficacy. Needless to say, all these merits stand specific in good stead as far as augmenting their chances of prosperity and excellence is concerned. On the other hand, another pivotal aspect of the aforementioned proposition is this implies that it is only likely to help one thrive and excel in varied areas. Besides, only when following such a system, can they broaden their horizons, thus learning such essential attributes as responsibility and dedication. For instance, many bosses required their workers work for a long time and that's way parent's have not enough time for their children as well. Hence, it is apparent why many are in favour to do the hard work. In conclusion, moreover people work for their family and it will completely accept to say that every person earn revenues for a bright future ahead to their children.
Nowadays,
many
families have a dual sources of their salary. There is a widespread worry that it will
only
lead to a myriad of concerns in both's life.
However
, I do not
entirely
accept that and I will
explain
why in this essay.

Therefore
, There are a number of arguments in
favour
of my stance. The most preponderant sole is that children will gain much and the income that parent's
hard earned
, will worth for their better living.
Another possibility
would be the wide range of advantages it offers, not
only
can
particularly
benefit more when it
comes
to being effective,
but
they can
also
enhance the productivity and quality of their
lives
with much
ease
and efficacy. Needless to say, all these merits stand specific in
good
stead as far as augmenting their chances of prosperity and excellence
is concerned
.

On the other hand
, another pivotal aspect of the aforementioned proposition is
this implies that
it is
only
likely to
help
one thrive and excel in varied areas.
Besides
,
only
when following such a system, can they broaden their horizons,
thus
learning such essential attributes as responsibility and dedication.
For instance
,
many
bosses required their workers work for a long time and that's way parent's have not
enough
time for their children
as well
.
Hence
, it is apparent why
many
are in
favour
to do the
hard
work.

In conclusion
,
moreover
people
work for their family and it will completely accept to say that every person earn revenues for a bright future ahead to their children.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay In today’s competitive world, many families find it necessary for both parents go out to work. While some say the children in these families benefit from the additional income, others feel they lack support because of their parents’ absence. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
257 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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