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In today’s competitive world, many families find it necessary for both parents go out to work. While some say the children in these families benefit from the additional income, others feel they lack support because of their parents’ absence. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.2

In today’s competitive world, many families find it necessary for both parents go out to work. While some say the children in these families benefit from the additional income, others feel they lack support because of their parents’ absence. v. 2
In the past, a typical family consisted of a father who went out to a job and a mother who stayed at home and looked after the children. Nowadays, it is the norm for both parents to work. This situation can affect children, both positively and negatively. Some people think that the children of working parents are in an advantageous position as their parents are able to afford more luxuries such as new clothes, video games or mobile phones. Proponents of this view argue that children are able to enjoy and experience more of life due to their parents’ extra wealth, for example, by going on foreign holidays. On the other hand, there are those who claim that when both parents work, their children do not get enough support and attention; meaning that these children might not do as well at school because there is no one at home to provide support with such things as homework or exam revision. The absence of parents at home could make it easier for children to get involved in such things as drugs or underage drinking. When I was growing up, both my parents worked and I was always well provided for. However, I think that it would sometimes have been better if I could have seen more of them. I believe that many others also feel this way about their parents. In conclusion, I believe that we cannot change the fact that both parents have to work nowadays; it is not an ideal situation, but if parents make time for their children in the evenings and at the weekends, then the children will not suffer in any way. It must be stated that the extra income generated by both parents working makes for a much higher standard of living which benefits the whole family.
In the past, a typical family consisted of a father who went out to a job and a mother who stayed at home and looked after the
children
. Nowadays, it is the norm for both
parents
to work. This situation can affect
children
, both
positively
and
negatively
.

Some
people
think
that the
children
of working
parents
are in an advantageous position as their
parents
are able to afford more luxuries such as new clothes, video games or mobile phones. Proponents of this view argue that
children
are able to enjoy and experience more of life due to their
parents’
extra wealth,
for example
, by going on foreign holidays.

On the other hand
, there are those who claim that when both
parents
work, their
children
do not
get
enough
support and attention; meaning that these
children
might not do
as well
at school
because
there is no one at home to provide support with such things as homework or exam revision. The absence of
parents
at home could
make
it easier for
children
to
get
involved in such things as drugs or underage drinking. When I was growing up, both my
parents
worked and
I was always well provided for.
However
, I
think
that it would
sometimes
have been better if I could have
seen
more of them. I believe that
many
others
also
feel this way about their parents.

In conclusion
, I believe that we cannot
change
the fact that both
parents
have to
work nowadays; it is not an ideal situation,
but
if
parents
make
time for their
children
in the evenings and at the weekends, then the
children
will not suffer in any way. It
must
be stated
that the extra income generated by both
parents
working
makes
for a much higher standard of living which benefits the whole family.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay In today’s competitive world, many families find it necessary for both parents go out to work. While some say the children in these families benefit from the additional income, others feel they lack support because of their parents’ absence. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
302 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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