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In this hectic life if parents are getting free time then they should spend this time in playing games with their children rather than helping them in their school work. v.1

In this hectic life if parents are getting free time then they should spend this time in playing games with their children rather than helping them in their school work. v. 1
In the modern workplace, dress codes are changing as employers focus more on results than on the rules that employees must follow. While I agree that the way people dress should be seen as irrelevant in many work contexts, I believe that dress codes still exist for good reason in certain professions. On the one hand, many employers have stopped telling their staff how to dress, and I see this as a positive trend. Some of the most successful companies in the world, including technology giants like Google and Facebook, are famous for the relaxed office environments that they try to create. Employees are encouraged to dress casually, and even the company executives and leaders are rarely seen wearing anything other than T-shirts and jeans. However, while managers and programmers are free to dress how they like, they are expected to produce work of outstanding quality. It is clear from the performance and global dominance of such companies that strict dress codes are completely unnecessary in the technology sector. However, I would also argue that rules regarding employees' clothing are still relevant in other work situations. We expect certain professionals, such as nurses, police officers and airline pilots, to wear uniforms. These uniforms may have a practical or safety function, but perhaps more importantly they identify the person’s position or role in society. Similarly, a lawyer, politician or school principal may choose to wear formal clothing in order to portray an image of authority, trustworthiness and diligence. I believe that most of us prefer to see these professionals in smart, formal attire, even if it is not strictly necessary. In conclusion, I support the trend towards relaxed dress codes for workers, but I do not see it as applicable to all occupations or sectors of the economy.
In the modern workplace,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dress
codes are changing as employers focus more on results than on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
that employees
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
follow. While I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the way
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dress
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as irrelevant in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
work contexts, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dress
codes
still
exist for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
reason in certain professions.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
employers have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
telling their staff how to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dress
, and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
this as a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
trend.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
of the most successful
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
in the world, including technology giants like Google and Facebook, are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
for the relaxed office environments that they try to create. Employees
are encouraged
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dress
casually
, and even the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
executives and leaders are rarely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
wearing anything other than T-shirts and jeans.
However
, while managers and programmers are free to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dress
how they like, they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to produce work of outstanding quality. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
from the performance and global dominance of such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
that strict
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dress
codes are completely unnecessary in the technology sector.

However
, I would
also
argue that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
regarding employees' clothing are
still
relevant in other work situations. We
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
certain professionals, such as nurses, police officers and airline pilots, to wear uniforms. These uniforms may have a practical or safety function,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
perhaps more
importantly
they identify the person’s position or role in society.
Similarly
, a lawyer, politician or school principal may choose to wear formal clothing in order to portray an image of authority, trustworthiness and diligence. I believe that most of us prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
these professionals in smart, formal attire, even if it is not
strictly
necessary.

In conclusion
, I support the trend towards relaxed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dress
codes for workers,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
it as applicable to all occupations or sectors of the economy.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay In this hectic life if parents are getting free time then they should spend this time in playing games with their children rather than helping them in their school work. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
297 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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