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In the past when students did a university degree, they tend to study in their own country. Nowadays, they have more opportunities to study aboard. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development? You should use your own Ideas, knowledge and ex v.1

In the past when students did a university degree, they tend to study in their own country. Nowadays, they have more opportunities to study aboard. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development? You should use your own Ideas, knowledge and ex v. 1
Given that artificial intelligence is progressing very fast, many people think that internet learning portals will replace schools in the near bay future. Hence, it has been observed in recent years that the number of men and women choosing online learning is increasing. In my opinion, I believe that it is very essential to support education through the internet in order to benefit from its proven impact on the society. On one hand, choosing to learn via computers connected to the internet can lead to isolation, which is proven to be one of the main reasons of depression. Another point to consider is that verbal interaction in schools is confirmed to be very primordial for children's growth. However, technology is affecting every aspect of daily life, even children are more into playing a game on their smartphone rather then playing with their friends. For instance, there is no more ball playing in the school yard as it used to be. On the other hand, it cannot be denied that school journeys is becoming very time consuming due to busy traffic. Thus, parents are going in favour of learning in the house. In addition, the schools' calendars are very strict compared to online learning where classes can be altered to fit each individual need. Furthermore, home education is very comfortable. For example, classes could be attended in pyjamas. In conclusion, we live in an age where time seems to be a very important, it seems wise to get behind the idea that online learning will replace schools in the future, whether we like it or not. Recently people are getting attracted to time reducing solution such as distance learning more then traditional ways of learning. It is predicted that online learning will be the only learning approach in the upcoming years.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Given
that artificial intelligence is progressing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
portals will replace
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
in the near bay future.
Hence
, it has
been observed
in recent years that the number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and women choosing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
is increasing. In my opinion, I believe that it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
essential to support education through the internet in order to benefit from its proven impact on the society.

On one hand, choosing to learn via computers connected to the internet can lead to isolation, which
is proven
to be one of the main reasons of depression. Another point to consider is that verbal interaction in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
is confirmed
to be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
primordial for children's growth.
However
, technology is affecting every aspect of daily life, even children are more into playing a game on their smartphone
rather
Did you mean "than"? 'than' is used for comparisons, 'then' is an expression of time.
then
playing with their friends.
For instance
, there is no more ball playing in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
yard as it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to be.

On the other hand
, it cannot
be denied
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
journeys is becoming
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
time consuming
due to busy traffic.
Thus
, parents are going in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
.
In addition
, the schools' calendars are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
strict compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
where classes can
be altered
to fit each individual need.
Furthermore
, home education is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
comfortable.
For example
, classes could
be attended
in
Possible spelling mistake. 'pyjamas' is British English.
pyjamas
.

In conclusion
, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in an age where time seems to be a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
, it seems wise to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
behind the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
will replace
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
in the future, whether we like it or not. Recently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are getting attracted to time reducing solution such as distance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
more
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
then
traditional ways of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
. It
is predicted
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
will be the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
approach in the upcoming years.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
A special kind of beauty exists which is born in language, of language, and for language.
Gaston Bachelard

IELTS essay In the past when students did a university degree, they tend to study in their own country. Nowadays, they have more opportunities to study aboard. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development? You should use your own Ideas, knowledge and ex v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
300 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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