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In the past people were more friendly than they are today. Do you agree or disagree with the statement? v.1

In the past people were more friendly than they are today. v. 1
One people' s relationship with others is the most important aspect of his life, and to some extent determines the life he live in. Nowadays, some people claim that in comparison with past, people now do not treat others around him friendly enough. I strongly agree with such statement for the following reasons. With the development of science and technology, the society we live in has been becoming more and more competitive and stressful, thus, people today have to compete with other people for the limited resources. In the past, there was not so many people and the capacity of our society was so large that it can provide everybody with the equal opportunity. But now, the condition have been changed dramatically. Our society is no longer able to support the increasingly number of people. As the consequence, in order to live a better or sometimes even normal and to avoid falling behind, people now have to their best to pursue every chance to improve themselves. They might become indifferent about other people' s feelings like people in the past might do. Therefore, people not become less friendly not because of selfish, but because the conflicts between the increasingly number of people and the limited natural resources. Besides the more competitive society, the advanced communication technology have contributed greatly to the decrease of friendliness. In the past, we usually shear our feeling with person who live closely with us, like our parents or our neighbors. The more feeling we shear with others the closer relationship we will enjoy, thus, we would be more concerned about people around us. But now, the Internet have connected people all around the globe, and we seem to live in a big online community. We can chat and communicate with each other without being blocked by the time and distance. Although, it seems that we have more friends, the number of people we really care about or the people who care about us is decreasing. We no longer live together, and usually do not have the common things that we are both interested in to talk about. Nor are we willing to shearing our true feeling with others. So, the advances in the communication technology is also the essential factor that make people less friendly. From what have mentioned above, people today do become less friendly than in the past. But, this tend is resulted from the development of society and there is no way to avoid it.
One
Possible spelling mistake found.
people&
#039; s relationship with others is the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
aspect of his life, and to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent determines the life he
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in. Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
claim that
in comparison
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
do not treat others around him friendly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
. I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with such statement for the following reasons.

With the development of science and technology, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in has been becoming more and more competitive and stressful,
thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
compete with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
for the limited resources. In the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
, there was not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and the capacity of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
large that it can provide everybody with the equal opportunity.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
, the condition have been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
dramatically
. Our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
is no longer able to support the
increasingly
number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. As the consequence, in order to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
a better or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
even normal and to avoid falling behind,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
their best to pursue every chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
themselves. They might become indifferent about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
Possible spelling mistake found.
people&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feelings
like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
might do.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
not become less friendly not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of selfish,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the conflicts between the
increasingly
number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and the limited natural resources.

Besides
the more competitive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
, the advanced communication technology have contributed
greatly
to the decrease of friendliness. In the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
, we
usually
shear our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feeling
with person who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
closely
with us, like our parents or our neighbors. The more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feeling
we shear with others the closer relationship we will enjoy,
thus
, we would be more concerned about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around us.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
, the Internet have connected
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
all around the globe, and we seem to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
online community. We can chat and communicate with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
without
being blocked
by the time and distance. Although, it seems that we have more friends, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
we
really
care about or the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who care about us is decreasing. We no longer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
together, and
usually
do not have the common things that we are both interested in to talk about. Nor are we willing to shearing our true
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feeling
with others.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, the advances in the communication technology is
also
the essential factor that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
less friendly.

From what have mentioned above,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
do become less friendly than in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
,
The verb 'tend' is plural. Did you mean: "this tends"? Did you use a verb instead of a noun?
this tend
is resulted
from the development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
and there is no way to avoid it.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
45Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay In the past people were more friendly than they are today. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
413 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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