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In the past, people lived in small villages where everyone knew everyone else. Nowadays, most people live in large cities where they only know a few people in their area. What do you think were the advantages and disadvantages of living in a small community? v.1

In the past, people lived in small villages where everyone knew everyone else. Nowadays, most people live in large cities where they only know a few people in their area. What do you think were the advantages and disadvantages of living in a small community? v. 1
Nowadays, most cities and villages have vital public utilities, such as electricity, water, and gas; hence, people can live almost everywhere. However, in the past, there were several places where people could settle. So, rather than living far from people and searching for new opportunities, they used to gather together, making a small community and living together in a so-called small village. There were definitely some advantages. For example, people who lived in a place which is not populated, knew each other well. This meant that when someone needed help, could easily count on many people. In my opinion, this had led to strong relationships compared with todays modern relationships. It is clear that with the growing popularity of social media, people are less in contact with each other. On the other hand, like any other issues, there were some drawbacks which made people leave small villages. I believe, people always have a great eagerness to search for new opportunities. To set an example, there are always going to be more job opportunities in big cities rather than small villages. Having a better job with higher salary means a better life in most cases. In conclusion, there were some reasons why people had to live in small villages in the past. For instance, people could not live wherever they wanted, because resources like water were not available everywhere. Thus, people had to overcome such problems together and they had stronger relationships compared with people living in modern cities. However, lack of improved facilities was one of the main setbacks of living in a village.
Nowadays, most cities and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
villages
have vital public utilities, such as electricity, water, and gas;
hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
almost everywhere.
However
, in the past, there were several places where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could settle.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
far from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and searching for new opportunities, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to gather together, making a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
community and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
together in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
-called
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
village.

There were definitely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages.
For example
,
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people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
in a place which is not populated, knew each other well. This meant that when someone needed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
, could
easily
count on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. In my opinion, this had led to strong relationships compared with
Possible spelling mistake found.
todays
modern relationships. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that with the growing popularity of social media,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are less in contact with each other.

On the other hand
, like any other issues, there were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks which made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
villages
. I believe,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
always have a great eagerness to search for new opportunities. To set an example, there are always going to be more job opportunities in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
cities
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
villages
. Having a better job with higher salary means a better life
in most cases
.

In conclusion
, there were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
had to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
villages
in the past.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
wherever they wanted,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
resources like water were not available everywhere.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
had to overcome such problems
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
together and
they had stronger relationships compared with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in modern cities.
However
, lack of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
facilities was one of the main setbacks of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
village
.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Learning another language is not only learning different words for the same things, but learning another way to think about things.
Flora Lewis

IELTS essay In the past, people lived in small villages where everyone knew everyone else. Nowadays, most people live in large cities where they only know a few people in their area. What do you think were the advantages and disadvantages of living in a small community? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
264 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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