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In the past, most people lived in small villages where everyone knew everyone else. Nowadays, most people live in large cities where they only know a few people in their area. What do you think were the advantages and disadvantages of living in a small community? v.3

In the past, most people lived in small villages where everyone knew everyone else. Nowadays, most people live in large cities where they only know a few people in their area. What do you think were the advantages and disadvantages of living in a small community? v. 3
These days, almost everyone prefers to live in urban areas where they hardly know other people staying in their neighbourhood. However, most people used to live in rural areas in the past, and they used to know each other very well. While both of these choices offer some merits, we will discuss the pros and cons of living in a small community. Firstly, there is no traffic in rural areas. This means that there is no air pollution, and people can inhale fresh and toxic free air, which prevents many diseases to occur. For example, in October 2019, Lahore city of Pakistan covered with smog, which resulted in sickness of myriad people. The cause of that smog was the large number of vehicles on roads. Secondly, as people know everyone in the village, they help each other in the time of need. For instance, if a pregnant woman is alone in the house and she gets labour pain, neighbours will rush her to the nearest clinic, which is not the case in large cities. In contrast, there are few disadvantages of living in villages as well. One is that unavailability of hospitals. This cause suffering of patients and often leads to death, because ambulances take time to reach to the village, and once they arrive, patients are taken to cities, where hospitals are located. By that time, the sick person may not bear the pain and die on the way. Another demerit is provision of quality education. It is observed in many villages that there are no proper schools for children. To summerize, the merits of living in villages are clean oxygen to inhale and getting help of other people in need, whereas cons are non availability of hospitals and schools.
These days, almost everyone prefers to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in urban areas where they hardly know
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
staying in their
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbourhood' is British English.
neighbourhood
.
However
, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in rural areas in the past, and they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to know each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
well. While both of these choices offer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
merits, we will discuss the pros and cons of living in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
community.

Firstly
, there is no traffic in rural areas. This means that there is no air pollution, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can inhale fresh and toxic free air, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
diseases to occur.
For example
, in October 2019, Lahore city of Pakistan covered with smog, which resulted in sickness of myriad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. The cause of that smog was the large number of vehicles on roads.
Secondly
, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
know everyone in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
village
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
in the time of need.
For instance
, if a pregnant woman is alone in the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
house and
she
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
pain,
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
will rush her to the nearest clinic, which is not the case in large cities.

In contrast
, there are few disadvantages of living in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
villages
as well
. One is that unavailability of hospitals. This cause
The usual preposition for this expression is "from" or "with." Did you mean "suffering from" or "suffering with"?
suffering of
patients and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
leads to death,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
ambulances take time to reach to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
village
, and once they arrive, patients
are taken
to cities, where hospitals
are located
. By that time, the sick person may not bear the pain and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
on the way. Another demerit is provision of quality education. It
is observed
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
villages
that there are no proper schools for children.

To
Possible spelling mistake found.
summerize
, the merits of living in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
villages
are clean oxygen to inhale and getting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in need, whereas cons are
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.
non availability
of hospitals and schools.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
If we spoke a different language, we would perceive a somewhat different world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay In the past, most people lived in small villages where everyone knew everyone else. Nowadays, most people live in large cities where they only know a few people in their area. What do you think were the advantages and disadvantages of living in a small community? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
291 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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